Blast from the Past
by NGOfan2014
Summary: Set towards the end of Series 7. Someone from Lee's past suddenly reappears in his life. Will they ruin his chances with Lucy or provide the catalyst that will finally see them get together?
1. Chapter 1

"_Move your feet Lee, can't you see I'm trying to vacuum"._

"_I'm concentrating on my game, not that I can hear it"_, he huffed as he swung his legs out of Lucy's way, putting them up on the sofa where he was lounging.

"_Can't you get off that PlayStation for a minute and help me with the housework?"._

_"__I took the recycling down to the bins didn't I?"_

_"__Yes, but now you're just getting in my way"._

_"__Well, I'm sorry for...existing"._

"_I don't mind you existing Lee, I just mind you existing right here while I'm trying to vacuum. Why don't go and do the food shopping? The list's on the fridge"._

_"__Alright, I'll go and do that, I get the hint"._

_"__That wasn't a hint, I asked you directly. The hint was earlier when I said the fridge was looking a bit bare and maybe one of us needed to go to the supermarket later. I thought you might have offered then"._

_"__I'm going, stop moaning. Can I have some money for your half?"_

_"__No, you can pay this time, you can take it out of the rent you still owe"_

"_Fine. Any special requests?"_

_"__Yes, ask them if they've got any job vacancies"._

_"__I thought you liked working in recruitment"._

_"__Very funny"._

_"__Well you can't be talking about me because I've already got a job"._

_"__You haven't done any deliveries for weeks now"._

_"__Well, people aren't buying anything. They're all still skint after Christmas. I've got the handyman thing"._

_"__Just because you've put a card up in the newsagent offering handyman services doesn't mean that's your job now"._

"_I've had a couple of call outs"._

"_You mean that man who wanted you to break into his ex girlfriend's house so he could get his porn collection back?"._

_"__I didn't do it"._

_"__I should think not. Or do you mean the call from that woman who got invited you round to her bungalow on the false pretences that she wanted shelves putting up then offered you £50 for sex?"_

_"__Yeah, well, I'm sure I'll get some genuine calls soon". _

_"__How come you didn't deny doing the second one?"_

_"__Of course I didn't, I'm still offended by the offer actually. £50?"_

_"__I still think she was being generous"._

_"__Yeah well, you wouldn't know would you? Don't knock it 'til you've tried it"._

"_How much do you think you're worth then?"_

_"__Nothing"._

_"__You're giving it away now?_

_"__No, this body isn't for sale"._

_"__Glad to hear it. Anyway, Aubergines"._

_"__That's what comes into your head when I mention my body? Your mind's clearly in the gutter"._

_"__No, I forgot to write Aubergines on the shopping list. You asked me if I had any special requests, from the supermarket"._

_"__Right, aubergines. I'm off then"._

"_Okay, bye"._

...

30 minutes later...

"_Why do you always forget to take your keys!",_ Lucy shouted after she heard the doorbell ring. She opened the door, still wearing rubber gloves. She was about to clean the bathroom.

The person standing there when she opened the door was not who she expected.

"_Kate?"._

_"__The very same, long time no see, Tim's little sister"._

Lucy looked Kate up and down. She hadn't changed much, except maybe gaining a curve here or there, a line or two. She was still as pretty as ever.

"_What are you doing here? Isn't it about ten years since you left never to be seen again...well until now?"_

_"__Six years, near enough. I was in London, thought I should catch up with an old friend"._

_"__Are you talking about Tim or Lee? Because Tim lives in Germany at the moment"._

_"__That's shame. It would have been nice to say hi to Tim. Although it was Lee I was actually hoping to see today"._

Lucy's heart sank unexpectedly. For some reason, the thought of Kate being reunited with Lee was very unsettling.

"_I didn't realise you lived here. Does Lee not live here anymore?"_

_"__He does, we both do"._

_"__Oh...are you and Lee a couple now? Of all the people, I never thought he'd end up with Tim's little sister"._

_"__You remember my name is Lucy right?"_

_"__Yeah, sorry, about that. I just always think of you as Tim's little sister"._

"_We're not a couple, we're flat mates...friends"._

_"__Ah. Yeah, maybe you're not really his type". _

_"__What's that supposed to mean?"_

Lucy felt outraged. Why did Kate think that she wasn't Lee's type? Was she right? Maybe she was, and that's why despite giving her the impression he liked her Lee had never made a move.

"_I dunno, you always just seemed a bit...prissy"._

_"__Wow Kate, you never did like me did you?"_

_"__I never said that. I always liked you Lucy, in a my boyfriend's sweet little sister way. Sorry, I shouldn't have said prissy, I just meant...you know, not rough enough around the edges for him"._

"_You don't really know me. Anyway, he liked you and I wouldn't call you rough around the edges. How do you even know Lee has a type? He might have changed anyway, you haven't seen him for years. Anyhow, what's important is he's not really...available"._

Lucy wasn't even sure why those words came out of her mouth.

"_Oh, so he's in a relationship then?"_

Lucy was sure Kate's face had visibly fallen just then, and this made her feel as though she'd started winning a battle which probably only existed in her mind.

Lucy scolded herself then. It wasn't like her to feel like this. She told herself she didn't have the right to feel this sudden vitriol towards Kate, or feel so threatened by her. After all, it wasn't like her and Lee were actually a couple. Yes they did nearly everything together these days, and everyone they met assumed they were a couple, but the fact was they weren't. Deep down though Lucy desperately wished they were.

"_No, not really. It's complicated. Look, when I first met Lee he was actually quite lonely, it took him a while to admit it but he was pining for you. When you left it I'm pretty sure it broke his heart"._

_"__I'm sorry about that"._

Kate looked genuinely sad, and Lucy didn't know whether to feel sorry for her or even more threatened.

"_It's not me you need to apologise to. Look, I don't know what your intentions are, but I don't want Lee to get hurt. Just, be kind to him that's all". _

Lucy told herself she needed to be rational about this. Lee and Kate were never a couple. Lee may have loved Kate, and she may have loved him too, but they had never told each other, they'd missed their chance. Kate had lost her right to be with Lee the second she decided to leave London. Hadn't she? She wouldn't come back into his life after all this time and expect to continue where they left off, surely?

"_He means a lot to you do doesn't he?"_

_"__Maybe he does, though it's nothing to do with you. He's a friend. A good friend"._

For a while now Lucy had held onto the hope that her relationship with Lee might be moving towards something more than friendship, admittedly at a snails pace. Still, even though she now fully understood her feelings for Lee, she wasn't ready to voice them yet. Even if she had been ready admit her feelings for Lee to anyone else, that person would certainly not have been Kate.

"_I just want to catch up with him, I don't have an ulterior motive. Is he in?"_

Kate was not convinced that Lucy saw Lee as only a good friend.

"_No, he's out food shopping"._

_"__You trust him to do that? Won't he just come back with four packets of pop tarts, six pot noodles and a crate of beer? That's what he did when we lived together"._

_"__I give him a list. Usually he sticks to it"._

_"__You've got him better trained than I did then"._

_"__Well, I've had longer to work on him"._

"_Yeah I suppose you have. Can I come in and wait?"_

_"__Actually I'm quite busy, so if you just wanted to leave your number I can pass it on to Lee and ask him to call you, if he wants. He may prefer to leave the past where it belongs"._

_"__How do I know you'll give it to him? You seem quite..."_

_"__Quite what? You can't just swan back in here after six years and just start where you left off with him. People change, move on". _

_"__I realise he's probably moved on. I just think Lee should be the one to tell me to go and take a hike, if that's what he wants". _

"_I didn't tell you to bugger off back to America, I just said I'd pass your number on"._

_"__Kate?"_

They both turned round as they heard Lee's voice. Neither had heard the door open. He was now stood, frozen to the spot, just inside the front door.

"_Hey my lil northern friend"._

Kate bounded up to Lee and went to hug him, her attempt thwarted by the shopping bags he was holding forming a barrier around him.

"_Hi...my little wheatgrass loving Californian friend". _

There were several, uncomfortable seconds of silence then, as he just stared at her.

Lee didn't know really how to react, Kate turning up like this was so expected. She was standing there, a living, breathing memento to feelings he had consigned to the archives of his mind a long time ago. His gaze moved from Kate to Lucy, and and he observed the expression on her face. He'd only seen that look on her face once or twice before, when he was seeing Rachel the psychopath. Was it jealousy? No, why would it be? He didn't think she felt that way about him, he couldn't be that lucky. He turned to Kate again, and felt discombobulated, like his old life and his new life were colliding in front of his eyes. Kate represented the life he had before Lucy. BL. That's how he saw his life now, though this may have been the first time he realised it.

"_What are you doing here? Six years, and not a single phone call or text"._

He remembered how hurt he was that morning he'd got up to find Kate had left only leaving him a scribbled note.

Lucy's heart sank. Lee remembered exactly how much time had passed since Kate left. Perhaps he still thought about her, perhaps he still missed her every day. He never talked about her any more though.

"_My sister has moved to London, I'm visiting her. Thought it would be nice to catch up with old friends while I'm here". _

_"__No word from you in six years, you didn't even answer my texts. How do you think that made me feel?"_

_"__I'm so sorry, but I had my reasons. I've got somewhere to be shortly but come out for dinner with me tonight and I'll explain"._

"_I don't know"._

_"__Think about it, I'll be at La Casa Nostra on Lincoln Lane at 8pm. If you want to meet up, I'll see you there. I really hope you do, I've missed you. Bye both"._

With that Kate was gone again, and Lee closed the door behind her. He put the shopping bags down on the floor and sat down on the sofa, head in hands, a little dazed. He felt Lucy's presence as she sat down next to him.

"_Are you going to go then?"_

_"__Do you think I should?"_

_"__It's not up to me"._

A large part of Lucy really hoped he decided not to go. But what if he didn't, then regretted it. Perhaps he needed closure. Then again, what if the minute she got him alone Kate would tell him she'd been in love with him all these years and had come back to be with him. What if Lee still had feelings for her and she was about to lose him?

"_I don't know if it's a good idea or not. I suppose I'd like to know why she left and never returned my calls. She said she'd explain"._

_"__Sounds like you've made up your mind. You're going to go?"_

Lucy was sure she had done a very bad job of hiding her disappointment just then.

"_Maybe. I suppose so, probably. Why did she have to turn up again, now?"_

Lucy wasn't sure what was so significant about 'now'. She hoped he meant now that I've fallen deeply in love with my landlady, but that was probably wishful thinking.

"_Are you happy to see her again? I know she means a lot to you"._

_"__Meant. How would you feel if Guy suddenly turned up here after all these years?"_

_"__That's different. Guy was my boyfriend, and he was a controlling bastard. Kate was never your girlfriend was she?"_

_"__No, but..."_

_"__But what?"_

"_Nothing"._

_"__Look, when I first moved in with you, you told me how upset you were when she left. I know you were close"._

_"__Were being the operative word there. We haven't seen each other for six years, it might be awkward. I don't know her anymore"._

_"__Then don't go"._

Lucy scolded herself for being so unsubtle.

"_I think I should, she's made the effort to come and seek me out, it would be unkind to just brush her off"._

_"__Yeah well, some would say it was unkind to ghost you all those years ago"._

_"__Ghost me?"_

_"__Yes, disappear out of your life without word and never contact you again"._

_"__She did leave a note, not that it explained anything. You don't like Kate, do you?"_

"_I didn't say that"._

_"__I'm picking up a strong vibe"._

_"__Well, and her never really got on. I was always just Tim's silly little sister to her. She still calls me Tim's little sister you know". _

_"__You don't want me to see her, do you?"_

"_Like I said before, it's not up to me. You do what you want"._

Lee noted that Lucy hadn't denied that didn't want him to see Kate. She did almost seem jealous, though he didn't see why. Lucy couldn't really like him in that way, could she? Perhaps she was just worried about him getting hurt.

"_I'm going to go, I think I have to go. Is La Casa Nostra posh?"_

_"__No, it's one of those family run Italian places, quite informal. You'll fit in, I won't be like that place Rachel took you"._

_"__Good. I hate posh restaurants"._

_"__I know. You're the only person I know who thinks McDonalds is an acceptable restaurant to take a date"._

_"__I've never taken a woman to McDonalds, Pizza Hut I admit. Anyway, this isn't a date. It's a catch up with an old friend. It's my chance to get answers"._

This made Lucy feel a little better. Perhaps Lee really wasn't interested in Kate anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

8.05pm

Lee approached Kate, who was staring down at her phone. She quickly put it away in her handbag when she saw him.

"_You came! I wasn't sure if you would. I thought Lucy might have persuaded you against it"._

_"No. Lucy doesn't tell me what to do"._

Actually, Lucy often did tell him what to do, but he felt defensive over her nonetheless, because there was something about the way Kate had said her name, the tone in her voice. There was a definite subtext to her words.

"_Well, whatever, I'm glad you did"._

Kate threw her arms around Lee then, embracing him so tightly it took him aback.

"_It's okay to hug you right? Is it okay to hug you?"_

_"Of course"_, Lee said, squeezing her back.

She didn't seem to want to let him go for a few seconds, and he found himself carried away in the moment too.

"_Maybe we should go in"._

_"Yep_", Kate whispered almost breathlessly as she let go.

"_Sorry I'm a few minutes late by the way, I was looking for my wallet"._

_"Still keep it hidden away then?"._

_"Very funny. I thought Americans didn't get sarcasm"._

_"I spent too long living with you didn't I. It rubbed off. You don't need your wallet anyway tonight, this meal's on me"._

_"You don't have to do that"._

_"Yes, I do"._

_"Great, three courses it is!"._

"_It's nice to see you haven't changed. And you still give good hugs"._

_"You too"._

Lee followed Kate into the restaurant, and they were shown to their seats.

"_Can I get you any drinks, madam, sir?"_

_"I'll have a Bellini please",_ Kate said. She had decided tonight was a cocktail kind of night.

"_Just a glass of red for me please, the house one will do"._

_"Of course, I'll be back shortly"._

_"I thought you were more of a beer guy. You always turned your nose up at wine back in the day"_

_"Lucy got me into it, she's gradually trying to broaden my tastes._

_"Why did you leave so suddenly?"_

_"Wow, no small talk first then? No you look nice tonight Kate, no how are you?"_

_"Sorry, how are you? And you do look nice tonight, you look lovely"._

_"Thank you, and I'm good, I'm happy"._

"_You look happy, you look more, I don't know...content than you used to"._

_"I was always happy, but I'm more settled now, I suppose. Is saying I look more content your way I've saying I've put on weight?"_

_"No, you've hardly changed at all actually. You just seem...calmer maybe. And that's saying something seeing as when we shared the flat you were really into meditation and yoga and all that mindfulness stuff. Come to think of it, maybe it's because you don't live with me anymore"._

_"Of course it's not. I'm not sure I'm any more calm. But I've built a really nice life back in California, weather's great, none of that endless rain malarkey I had to put up with living here. I can't believe how cold it is, I'd forgotten what English Winters were like"._

_"Are we really going to sit here and talk about the weather?"_

_"That's what you Brits like to do right?"_

_"Yes, but not with people who you haven't seen or heard from in six years and who owe you answers about...things"._

_"Sorry, it's just knowing where to start. How are you Lee? I didn't expect you to still be living in Tim's flat, I thought whoever lived there now might knew where to find you"._

"_It's not Tim's flat anymore, it's Lucy's. She bought it off him"._

_"Anyway, I thought you might be married with kids by now"._

_"Nah, you know me, never the relationship type"._

_"Still, I thought you might have found someone to make an honest man of you"._

_"Who says I haven't found someone?"_

_"Oh, you're in a relationship then, you have a girlfriend?"_

_"No, I don't have a girlfriend"._

He had found someone of course, but they weren't in a relationship. Not the right kind of relationship anyway, not as far as he was concerned.

"_A boyfriend? I'll be honest I didn't see that coming but that's great Lee, that you can be yourself at last"._

_"I don't have a boyfriend either. You and me both know I fancy women"._

_"So why still single then? A handsome man like you, you'd be a lovely catch for someone"._

_"I'm hardly fighting them off Kate. Having said that, there was a woman I did go out with a couple of times recently and she turned out to be a psycho, so I pretty much literally had to fight her off"._

This threw Kate off a bit, she had assumed there was something between Lee and Lucy, even if they wouldn't admit it, but now he had mentioned going out with someone else, maybe she was wrong.

Lee decided to swiftly change the direction of the conversation, as he didn't feel comfortable being under this kind of questioning.

"_What about you?, I don't see a wedding ring"._

_"Very observant, I didn't even notice you looking"._

_"That's one thing my deadbeat dad actually taught me, how to subtly check for wedding rings on women's fingers"._

_"Nice, not. No, I'm not married, there's been a few boyfriends, but none of the were marriage material. I've been single for a long while now"._

_"So you're a lone wolf?"_

_"I've got family, and friends, I'm not alone. I'm a strong, independent woman and I don't need a man to validate me, of course I miss sex but..."_

"_Excuse me Madam, Sir. Are you ready to order?"_

Lee was glad the waiter interrupted them at that moment, he knew he was blushing, and was not sure what Kate was going to say next.

"_No_", they said in unison. Neither of them had even glanced at the menu yet.

"_Shall I give you a couple of minutes?"_

_"Yes please"._

With that the waiter walked away again.

"_What would you recommend Lee?"_

_"What for, missing sex? Don't you ladies usually just go to Ann Summers or something? I'm not sure I'm really comfortable about discussing that sort of thing with you though"._

_"I meant, what food do you recommend from the menu? Though Ann Summers is a good recommendation for the other thing, that shop's been my lifesaver over the years"._

_"Kate, too much information. I..."_

She was grinning now, seemingly enjoying making Lee squirm with embarrassment.

"_I don't know about the food, I've never been here before"._

_"You've never taken dates here? It's only around the corner from your flat"._

_"I don't date, I'm not American. Are you still vegan? Because if not I always like a Carbonara"._

_"I'm still vegan"._

_"Oh, so you won't want the meat feast pizza with extra cheese either then?"_

_"No"._

_"What about the Pollo Al Forno?"_

"_That's chicken"._

_"How do you know that?"_

_"Pollo is Italian for chicken"._

_"Oh, sorry we didn't learn Italian at my comprehensive. I don't think they saw the point in teaching us as nobody from my school could afford to go to Italy. I think they assumed the furthest we'd ever get was France"._

_"I think I'm going to go for the Aubergine and tomato tagliatelle. How about you?"_

_"Would it offend you if I had meat?"_

_"No, just don't expect me to try any"._

"_I wasn't going to offer. So, why did you leave so suddenly? You avoided my question earlier"._

_"It wasn't really sudden"._

_"I woke up and you'd gone, just like that. No goodbye. I'd call that sudden"._

_"I left a note"._

_"Oh yeah. 'Lee, I've had to go back to America, I'm sorry, Kate'. I don't think that counts, no explanation"._

_"It was complicated"._

_"How?"_

_"In lots of ways. And I thought I'd come back eventually, I didn't think I'd be gone six years"._

_"Are you staying then?"._

_"No, just visiting"._

_"Oh right. How long for?"_

_"I've already been here nine days, I'm going back at the end of the week"_

_"You weren't in a hurry to look me up then?"_

"_I wasn't sure whether I should, I didn't know if you'd be pleased to see me. Are you pleased to see me?"_

_"Yes, surprised but pleased. Look, when are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?"_

Lee couldn't leave it any longer, somebody had to bring up the topic they had both so far avoided.

"_I can see you've put on a bit of weight but there's no need to be that harsh on yourself, you still look good. I think you've matured well, like a fine wine"._

_"Well, thank you. But that's not what I meant. And you know it. I mean, what happened the night before you left"._

_"Oh, that"._

_"Yes that. We had sex, three times. You can't have forgotten"._

_"Of course I haven't"._

_"Did I do something wrong? I've never claimed to be Casanova but I've never had anyone move 5000 miles away immediately after I've slept with them. Was I that bad?"_

"_Sorry to interrupt again, are you ready to order now or did you still need some time?"._

The waiter had clearly overheard again, his timing impeccable.

"_No, we're ready. I'll have the Aubergine and tomato tagliatelle please"._

_"and I'll have the carbonara, thanks"._

_"Very good, I'll get those ordered for you"._

The waiter bounded back to the kitchen.

"_So? Put time out of my misery, was I terrible?"_

_"No, you were great, it was lovely. Surprisingly good"._

_"Surprisingly? What's that supposed to mean?"_

_"Well, you always joked about being bad in bed, and it turns out you're not. At all. You've got skills"._

_"Well, thank you. Why did you leave then?"_

_"I already knew I was going, I just didn't know how to tell you, I didn't want to have to say goodbye. If I had you might have persuaded me to stay"._

_"You knew you were going, but you slept with me anyway? Is that the way people say goodbye where you're from? 'Cause where I'm from we just say good bye. Not lure people into bed and make them think you care about them"._

_"I did care about you Lee, I don't think you'll ever know how much. I don't think it's fair to say I lured you into bed as though I was some sort of sexual predator. I might have kissed you first but I seem to recall everything else that followed that night didn't require 'luring' of any kind. You were as into it as me"._

_"But I didn't know you were leaving. I thought maybe that night was the start of something"._

_"Maybe it would have been, if things had been different. I kissed you that night because we were having a moment and it just felt like the right thing to do, the only thing to do. It's not my fault that one thing led to another. I didn't only have sex with you because I knew I was leaving, I had sex with you because I wanted you, badly. But I had to leave, I had no choice"._

"_Why? Was it because of Tim, the reason you left? Was it because I'm Tim's best friend and we were getting too close?"_

_"No. The truth is, I found out my dad was very ill. He told me he wasn't going to get any better, so I had to go back home and be with him. Then after he passed away I didn't want to leave my mom and there was other family stuff, everything changed, I couldn't go back to my old life"._

_"I'm so sorry about your dad, I wish you'd told me. I don't understand why you didn't you keep in touch though. I know I've never been that comfortable dealing with emotions but I would have been there for you. I thought I'd done something wrong, or even worse that something had happened to you"._

_"I'm sorry. It was too hard. I missed London, missed you, and I had to try and forget about my life here. I didn't want to feel torn between two places, you know. I had to tell myself there was nothing back in England for me. The only way I could see to do that was by cutting you off completely"._

_"I see, I get it, I think"._

_"I am sorry Lee, looking back I realise I probably did the wrong thing"._

_"You did what you felt was right at the time, you can't change it now"._

_"No. I've thought about you a lot though, you've never been far from my mind"._

There was regret in Kate's voice, then affection.

Lee felt a pang of guilt. As much as he'd cared for Kate back then, and how much he'd missed her at first, in recent years he'd hardly thought of her at all. Someone else was at the forefront of his thoughts now, someone closer to home. It was just a shame that someone probably didn't return his feelings. Probably didn't, not that he'd ever dared to try and find out. It was better to live with hope.

"_Earth to Lee, I'm over here",_ Kate took Lee's face in her hands and gently turned his head back towards her own. He'd been elsewhere for a moment then, lost in a daydream.

He shuddered a little at her unexpected touch, as their eyes met once more. Kate moved her hands quickly away, though her eyes stayed focused on his. She'd forgotten how lovely his eyes were, how easy it was to get lost in their deep blue.

Lee cleared his throat, looking down at his hands. The tension between them was palpable now, and he felt something stirring deep inside him, and it was disconcerting.

"_So, have you come over here on your own, you said you were visiting your sister?"_

_"No, I'm with family"._

_"Who?"_

_"No one you know. Tell about you anyway, what have you been up to in the last six years?"_

Kate was acting slightly cagey all of a sudden, it felt like there was something she wasn't telling him.

"_Nothing much"._

_"You haven't changed then? Doing nothing much was always your forte. There must be some news? Are you working now?"_

_"I have an ice cream van. Sorry, not a very vegan friendly job"_

_"Actually you can get some amazing vegan ice creams these days"._

_"Not in my van you can't"._

_"Business good?"_

_"It's all right In the Summer. Not much call for ice cream in February"._

_"You don't have a Winter job then?"_

_"Sometimes I deliver stuff, you know..."_

_"You've got a paper round? Growing up at last"._

_"No, I do leaflet drops for local businesses, deliver people's online shopping, that sort of thing. And I've started offering out my services as a handyman. I picked up some skills when I was caretaker of the flats, though I may as well use them"._

_"You were caretaker for less than a week"._

_"Yeah, well, that stupid orange boilersuit didn't suit me"._

_"I thought you looked sexy"._

_"No you didn't, you laughed at me"._

_"I'm sure I didn't mean it. How's it going, the handyman thing? Do you have plans to expand your business, employee some people maybe?"._

_"No"._

_"Ah Lee, still as ambitious as ever"._

_"Kate, if you've just invited me to dinner to insult me, I may as well go home. I get that from Lucy, I don't need anyone else to join in"._

"_I got the impression she liked you. She seemed keen to protect you from my evil claws"._

_"Protect me? What are you talking about?"_

_"She warned me against doing anything to hurt you"._

_"Yeah...well, we look after each other, we're friends"._

_"And that's all?"_

_"Yes, we're friends. Not that it would be anything to do with you if we were more than that. No contact for 6 years!"_

Kate looked hurt, and Lee felt a bit guilty. He couldn't really hold that against her, not now he knew her reasons.

"_I know, you're right"._

_"Yeah, and so are you. I know I'm not very ambitious. I know I'm a pathetic excuse for a man. I'm probably London's least eligible batchelor"._

_"Hey, stop right there, Mr low self esteem! You're not. Just because you're not some high flying lawyer or business man, doesn't mean you're pathetic. You're earning money. Lucy doesn't tell you you're pathetic does she? Because you don't deserve that"._

_"No she doesn't. She tells me I'm lazy sometimes, and that's usually when I am being. Despite the fact I'm unambitious and sometimes downright lazy, for some reason she's actually quite nice to me most of the time"._

_"Do you argue? We used to"._

"_We argue, and she insults me sometimes but I give as good as I get. I call it friendly banter, it's just the way we are together. It's weirdly enjoyable actually"._

_"Sounds just like me and you when we lived together"._

_"I suppose it is a bit. There's one very big difference though"._

_"What's that?"_

_"She doesn't make me be her guinea pig for tasting weird things she's baked using mungbeans and soya protein. Do you still make all that cra...crazy stuff?"_

_"Yes, you'll be pleased to hear that I've perfected my wheatgrass muffins at last"._

_"Oh, you'll have to give me the recipe. My wheatgrass muffins never rise"._

_"Well, the secret is...ah you're being sarcastic again right?"_

"_Sorry, it's an affliction"._

_"Lucy told me Tim lives in Germany now, do you still hear from him?"_

_"Yeah we keep in touch"._

_"How is he?"_

_"He's well. Still working in accounting, but you can't hold that against him"._

_"Has he got a girlfriend? Wife?"_

_"Yeah he has a girlfriend, Daisy, she's a hairdresser. They've been together for about four years. She still lives in London though so they've got a long distance thing going on"._

_"What's she like?"._

"_She's nice, completely dippy...some might say away with the fairies, but she's got a heart of gold. Me and Lucy spend quite a bit of time with her these days"._

_"Good, I'm happy for him. I bet you miss Tim don't you?"._

_"Yeah I do. It's weird not being able to go for a pint with him anytime I want"._

_"Who's taken the Tim sized place then? Who do you hang out with these days?"_

_"Lucy mostly. I replaced one Adams for another"._

_"So, erm...is Lucy in a relationship?"_

_"No"._

_"Right. That's interesting"._

"_Is it?"._

_"Yeah, a beautiful woman like her..."._

_"You're single, what's the difference?"_

_"I guess. So, what have you really been up to of late Lee? And don't say nothing. I bet you have some amusing tales to tell. Your life was always a bit like a sitcom"._

_"I ended up in a coma a few years back"._

_"Oh God, Lee. That's not what I'd call amusing. What happened? How long were you in the coma?"_

_"I got hit by a car. Sustained a couple of broken bones and a head injury. I woke up after a couple of weeks, the doctors said it could have been a lot worse"._

_"That's awful, did you sue?"_

"_Typical American attitude. No, it was my fault really, I was stupid and didn't look properly before I crossed the road. I'd just had an argument with Lucy and I wasn't thinking straight"._

_"You're okay now though? No long term effects?"_

_"No, I was lucky"._

_"Did it make you reassess things, having a brush with death like that?"_

_"A little bit, yeah"._

Lee could still remember so clearly the dreams he'd had whilst in his coma, of being married to Lucy. They had made him realise just how much Lucy meant to him, and he held on to the hope that one day his dreams might come true, even though he had yet to act on his feelings.

"_You always were prone to getting into scrapes weren't you?"_

_"Yeah, there's been a few over the years. This one time me, Lucy, Tim and Daisy went camping in some woods, only our car broke down and we ended up being surrounded by men in clown masks. We thought they were going to attack us"._

_"Did they?"_

_"No"._

_"Sounds scary though, what was the deal with the clown masks?"_

_"They thought we were dogging?"_

_"What's that?"_

_"Don't you have dogging in America?"_

"_What is it?"_

_"When people have sex in public places while others watch. There's certain places that are notorious for it. I bet they didn't teach you that at clown school"._

_"Do they always wear clown masks, people who do this...dogging?"_

_"No, well I assume not, I've not done it"._

_"I'd forgotten about clown school. That was an odd few weeks looking back. It turns out I didn't need clown school to find my lighter side, I just needed to spend a bit more time with you. Dogging eh? You learn something new every day"._

_"Last year we got lost at sea and nearly drowned thanks to my dad"._

_"Who's we?"_

"_Me, Lucy, Daisy and Dad. My dad invited us to stay on a crappy old boat he'd bought and then purposely sabotaged it for the insurance money. We ended up being saved by rowing an old dinghy back to shore. We thought we were going to die though"._

_"So far none of your stories have been very amusing. More concerning"._

_"Okay I think this will make you laugh. I took up Boxing a few months ago"._

_"That's not funny, I hate boxing, you might get injured"._

"_I did, so I don't do it anymore. The thing you'll probably find amusing is that I was paired to fight with a teenage girl, and she won. Pulverised me actually. Lucy certainly thought it was funny"._

_"Oh, no_", Kate said, trying to look sympathetic but unable to stifle a giggle.

"_And then there was the time I..."_

...

A little later...

The waiter approached, plates in hand.

"_Ah, here's our food Kate"_, Lee announced. He had just finished telling Kate about the stay in a haunted house last Christmas.

"_Great, I'm starving. Life with you is never boring is it? Come on then, out of everything you've done in the last six years, there must be some things that didn't end up with you getting injured, almost killed or humiliated. I bet you've done some things you're proud of too?"_

_"Erm, I don't know...actually, maybe helping to deliver a stranger's babies in one of those gondola cable car things at a ski resort. I'm kind of proud of that"._

_"Wow, so you should be, did you really do that?"._

_"Yep. It wasn't much fun and there wasn't much dignity involved"._

_"Giving birth isn't dignified, ask any woman that"._

_"I meant not much dignity on my part, but mum and babies were unscathed by the experience so..."._

_"How come you ended up being the midwife then?"_

_"I know, not the obvious choice right? We were trapped in the cable car when she went into labour. Lucy had both her arms in plaster and a Daisy had just touched a bird. It's a long story"._

"_Lucy had both her arms in plaster? Skiing accident?"_

_"More luggage carousel accident but I won't go into that"._

_"So, you guys go on holiday together then?"._

_"Yes, as friends. So, how's your healthy tomato and aubergine thing. It looks...vegetably?"_

_"Very nice, do you want to try it?"._

"_No thanks"._

_"Still allergic to vegetables then?"._

_"No, Lucy makes me eat them. I just think you should have it all to yourself, it doesn't look very filling. Don't you want to know how my carbonara is?_

_"Meaty I expect"._

_"Creamy, Parmesany. I don't know how you can live without dairy"._

_"Quite easily, I don't miss it"._

_"So, are you still working in publishing?"._

"_No"._

_"I'm surprised, you loved that job"._

_"I had to take a career break, family reasons. I've recently set up my own business, doing yoga classes. It's the best thing I've ever done. It's the least stressful job I've ever had, and it keeps me fit and flexible"._

_"I remember when you tried to get me into yoga. You're weren't a bad teacher actually"._

_"Maybe not, though you were a lost cause"._

_"I'm not patient enough, or flexible enough"._

"_That takes practice, you didn't give it time. You should see how flexible I am"._

Lee choked on a piece of pasta.

"_I've had first hand experience of your flexibility remember"._

_"Trust me, I'm even better at it now"._

Lee hoped she was talking about the yoga. Kate seemed to be flirting with him and it was making him a bit flustered.

They continued to talk as they ate, about London, California, politics, TV shows, and the old days...

...

Lee and Kate had finished eating and were waiting for the bill.

"_Lee?"_

_"Yep?"_

_"Are you happy?"_

_"Yeah, Fairly happy"._

_"Not completely happy?"_

_"I'm happy enough. You know me, I'm the very definition of happy go lucky"._

_"You know what the Dalia Lama once said - happiness is not something ready made, it comes from your own actions. Your happiness is in your own hands Lee, only you can build the future you want. You have to go out and get what you want in life. Make goals and do everything you can to achieve them"._

_"Are you a counsellor now? Lucy's already tried that on me. I was a lost cause there too"._

_"I'm just trying to say, if you feel like there's something missing in your life, think about what that is and how you can find it. Imagine your life is a jigsaw and the thing that will make you completely happy is a missing piece. Maybe there's no missing piece anymore, maybe you've already found it but just haven't worked out where it fits into the puzzle"._

Lee wasn't entirely sure what Kate was still talking about, but he had the feeling she was being very astute.

"_Can we keep it light, Kate. I feel like this restaurant isn't really the place for deep and meaningful conversation"._

_"Perhaps you should come back to my hotel, if you'd feel more comfortable there"._

Kate twirled a strand of her hair around her finger, cast Lee a mischievous glance. Her flirting wasn't even subtle anymore. Lee's pulse started to race, his head swimming with conflicting thoughts.

"_Kate, I'm not sure that would be a good idea. Anyway, as I say, let's just keep it light. You, know that's more me. I can't help it, I know you were always telling me I needed to be more serious, but life's too short to be serious all the time"._

_"I know, and in recent years I've embraced that side of me more. It's something you taught me Lee, that I've never forgotten. Having said that, I don't think I've laughed as much in years as I have tonight. No man has ever made me laugh as much as you"._

_"Yeah well, women have always tended to laugh at me, I just seem to have that effect on them"._

_"Laughing with you, not at you. You're funny Lee, and that's a good thing. It's a skill to be able to make people laugh. That plus the other skills you possess, it's a good combination"._

"_What other skills?"_

_"The ones I told you about earlier, bedroom skills"._

_"I can sleep for England, that's true. The snoring and farting would probably lose my some points though"._

_"I'm wasn't talking about sleeping, as well you know"._

_"These skills in the bedroom, what skills were you referring to specifically?_

Lee wasn't sure why he'd asked that. He shouldn't be joining in with the flirting, this wasn't supposed to be a date.

"_Well, you certainly know how to use that lovely long, thick tongue of yours, and these soft yet strong hands. Oh, and your cock is very impressive too"._

_"Ahem, your bill, Sir"._

_"Actually I'm getting this, I'm paying by card",_ Kate said, giggling as she realised the waiter had overheard their conversation again.

Lee continued their conversation when the waiter went to get the card machine.

"_Is it? I mean I've never really had any complaints there but..."_

_"Hell yeah. Sorry to make you blush but you were really, really good, I don't think I've ever come so hard"_

_"Kate! Keep your voice down"._

_"You asked"._

_"Is that true, that you've never..."_

_"Yes"._

_"I can't believe you actually just said that"._

"_I'm being honest. You should try it more often. Did you enjoy it too?"_

_"You know I did, it's not like I wasn't vocal. I thought the neighbours were going to come round and complain"._

_"Oh yeah, you were loud"._

_"Not as loud as you"._

_"Maybe not"._

_"Look, I'm not sure we should be talking about this. Isn't it...a bit inappropriate"._

_"Why are you English so prudish when it comes to talking about sex? I didn't think you were a prude Lee, not with some of the dirty jokes you used to come out with"._

_"Joking is different"._

"_Look, Mr 'I'm London's least eligible batchelor', the thing about you is, you project this image of casual, not a care in the world bravado but I know it's a mask. You clearly need a confidence boost, and I don't think you know how good a lover you are. I'm just letting you know. I also don't think you know how sexy you are. Until you know your worth you'll never achieve your goals. Consider me your life coach._

_"Life coach? All that self help stuff is such bollocks!"_

_"I knew you'd say that. You're talking to a former publisher of self help books remember"._

_"I didn't say it wasn't lucrative bollocks"._

Kate couldn't help but laugh. Only Lee could get away with essentially insulting her yet come off as charming.

"_So, do you really think I'm sexy?"_

_"Hell yeah"._

_"I'm hardly Brad Pitt Kate, I think all of those vitamins you're lacking through being a vegan must have clouded your judgement"._

_"Although after what you've just said I'm not sure deserve the compliment, I happen to think that you're charming and funny and handsome. Sexiness isn't all about big muscles and perfect teeth you know"._

_"You'd better stop now before I get too big headed. People who act like they're God's gift aren't attractive. I didn't think women liked that"._

"_No they don't, but a degree of confidence is. Being confident enough to tell someone you find them attractive or ask them out for example, isn't the same as being big headed"._

_"I suppose so. How come you're so annoyingly wise?"_

_"It's all those self help books I've read. You should read one some time. They might not be as bollocky as you think"._

The waiter reappeared again, and it was Lee who had to stifle a laugh when he saw the waiter's face. Kate handed over her card.

Transaction complete, they left the restaurant.

"_Lee, would you mind walking me back to my hotel?"_

_"No, I don't mind"._

_"Thanks. You've been lovely company tonight Lee, you were always good company"._

Despite his determination not to let old feelings resurface, Lee couldn't help but think how nice it was to have spent time with Kate again tonight. It had made him remember how she'd made him feel all those years ago. She had the uncanny ability to make him feel good about himself. There was something about her bright personality and breezy yet calm demeanour that was undeniably charming. And there was no denying she was beautiful.

He checked himself again. He wasn't supposed to have feelings for Kate anymore, they were in the past.

"_And so were you. Thank you for the meal, by the way"._

_"You're welcome. You look so uncomfortable you know, every time I compliment you"._

Kate had noticed Lee's blushing, flustered demeanour had returned.

"_That's because I'm not completely comfortable with being complimented. I'm not used to it. Anyway, what are your plans for the rest of your stay?"_

_"A bit of shopping, then just spending time with my sister"._

_"Whereabouts does she live?"_

_"Hampstead"._

_"Wow, that's very posh. How did she end up there?"_

_"She came here on holiday and met an English man. Typical Hugh Grant in Notting Hill type"._

_"I've told you before, the typical English man isn't the Hugh Grant type. Those men are few and far between. I'm not sure whether there is actually such thing as a typical English man. If there is I'd say he was probably more like me than Hugh Grant, put it that way"._

"_Why don't they put men more like you in films then?"_

_"Because romcoms are supposed to be idealistic and romantic. Ice cream man wouldn't be quite the same as travel book seller as a character would he? Ice cream seller sleeps with beautiful American actress would be an even less plausible storyline than the actual one"._

_"I'd watch it. Opposites attract right, otherwise how would we have ended up in bed?"_

_"True, we're such different people we should by all accounts hate each other right?"_

_"Exactly, but we don't. I've always liked you Lee"._

_"I like you too"._

Lee felt the colour return to his cheeks again. He hoped Kate didn't get the wrong idea. He had enjoyed tonight, there was no question about that, but liking Kate was as far as feelings for her now ran. Maybe he still fancied her a bit, but he realised he didn't love her any more. Maybe he never had, maybe his feelings for her had never been more than physical attraction, lust.

They walked for a couple more minutes until they reached the steps to Kate's hotel.

"_So...this is me"._

_"Nice hotel"._

_"It is, it's lovely actually"._

_"We should say goodnight then"._

_"Yeah"_, Kate breathed before leaning closer to Lee, placing her hand on his arm. For a split second he thought she was going to hug him, but instead she closed the gap between them and kissed him, crushing her soft, full lips against his. He was taken aback, but he found himself kissing her back, his heart beating fast. He heard a soft sigh escape from her throat and his body reacted, desire awakening within him.

It took Lee a good few seconds to properly register what was happening. As soon as he did, he started thinking about Lucy, his brain screaming at his body for betraying his feelings for her. As good a kisser as Kate was, it was Lucy he wished he was kissing right now. He pulled away, having finally regained some composure of thought.

"_Kate...I..."_

_"Do you want to come up to my room?"_

Kate's voice was a breathless whisper now.

"_For coffee?"_

Lee was fairly certain this was not what Kate meant.

"_No, for sex. I don't see the point of euphemisms"_

_"Oh...well...erm...I suppose I've always admired your directness Kate. You want to have sex with me again, after all these years?_"

Lee's head was spinning, his mind trying to process what was happening.

"_Yes, I'd have thought that kiss was a bit of a clue. I still fancy you, I'm not going to lie"._

_"So you were flirting with me in the restaurant earlier?"._

_"Yes. As a master of flirting I'd have thought you could tell. You gonna come up then?"_

Lee took a deep breath.

"_I'm sorry, I can't"._

_"I thought you were unattached?"_

_"I am"._

Strictly he was, but his heart wasn't. His heart, that was currently still in his mouth.

"_So then, I'm single, you're single. That kiss was pretty electric, we're compatible, sexually, you can't deny that"._

_"I shouldn't have kissed you back, I've given you the wrong idea, I'm sorry. This couldn't go anywhere. You're going back to America in a few days"._

_"I know that, and I didn't come here to start a relationship with you. Cards on the table - this is my offer. You and me spend the night together for old times sake. A bit of harmless fun. No strings attached?"_

There was a time when a beautiful woman standing in front of him making this offer would have been a dream come true for Lee. And he even considered it for a second. Maybe Kate was right, maybe there was no harm in having a bit of fun. He felt comfortable with Kate, and he already knew what she liked in bed, as she did him. This was an offer of pleasure without the pressure. Despite this, Lee knew he had to say no.

"_I'm sorry, I'm too old for all that now"._

_"You're not too old for sex Lee"._

_"I don't mean sex per se, I mean casual sex. As I said earlier, I haven't done that in a long time"._

_"You're not even tempted?"_

_"I am a bit tempted, I'm not denying that, but it wouldn't be a good idea"._

_"No? Toys do the job, don't get me wrong but there's nothing like the touch of a hot blooded human right? Don't you miss that? The feeling of someone else's skin against your own. The warmth of their embrace, their tight heat as you move inside them, hearing their moans as they come part in your arms"._

Kate had inched closer to Lee again, and had taken one of his hands in hers, toying with his fingers. She was so close he could feel her breath on his face.

Lee swallowed hard, feeling as though his throat was drying up. He did miss all of those things, that was true, and Kate certainly knew the words to say to set his pulse racing.

"_Jesus Christ Kate, I'm trying to walk away here. You're making it very hard"._

_"I can feel that"._

_"That...that's my wallet. I meant hard to walk away"._

_"Then don't"._

_"I have to. I appreciate the offer, but it wouldn't be right"._

Kate nodded, letting go of his hand and taking a step back. Lee immediately felt like he could breathe again. It had taken very little willpower in the end, to say no.

"_It's her isn't it?"_

_"I don't know what you mean. I just can't go back, I'm sorry"._

Lee knew exactly what she meant.

"_You do know what I mean, I think you're in denial. It's alright, I get it now...you've moved on. But, you can't blame a girl for trying. As I said, things have been pretty drought like on that front for ages now"._

_"Same here actually. I've only been been with two women since you. And they were just after you left. One was a misjudged one night stand, rebound thing I suppose, then was another one, that lasted two weeks"._

_"Who was she?"_

_"Just a woman I sold an ice cream to. Gemma she was called. She had a thing about men in white coats. And she insisted on bring ice cream into the bedroom"._

"_Tricky thing that, using food during sex, gotta be careful of Thrush"._

_"The ice cream wasn't for the sex, she just got hungry afterwards"._

_"What happened to her? Did she eat all your profits?"_

"_If the relationship had lasted another two weeks she probably would have. She ended it when she met a doctor, it turns out there's a hierarchy when it comes to men in white coats. Anyway, there hasn't been anyone since then"._

Since I met Lucy, Lee thought. There was a direct negative correlation between his sex life and living with Lucy. The two things are inversely proportional, he thought, congratulating himself on having remembered something from Maths at school. He hadn't had sex once since Lucy had moved in to the flat. He'd had several offers, but he'd turned them down, making all manner of excuses to them and to himself. But the truth was, he just wasn't interested in anyone else. It was Lucy he wanted.

"_So, what about you and Lucy? Are you telling me you two have never had sex with each other? Being so close and all"._

_"Yes I am telling you that. Of course we haven't"._

_"You've wanted to though right?"_

Lee started to panic that Kate could read his mind.

"_Kate, it's getting late, I'd better go. I'm getting really cold standing here"._

_"You're fault for turning me down. Just think you could be in a warm bed by now, with hot company, making even more heat"._

_"Goodnight Kate"._

_"Goodnight my lil Northern friend. My favourite English boy. It's been lovely"._

She gave him a soft peck on the cheek then walked backwards a couple of paces, lifting her hand in a sort of half wave.

"_Actually, Lee...can I see you again before I go back home? I'm going to meet a friend tomorrow morning but I'll be back by the afternoon. There's someone special I want you to meet"._

_"Who?"_

_"Wait and see. Come to the hotel, tomorrow afternoon, let's say 2 o'clock. I'll meet you in reception. No funny business I promise. There's only a certain number of times a woman can offer a man her body and be rejected before she gives up. I've reached my limit"._

_"Who do you want me to meet?"_

_"All will be revealed tomorrow"._

_"You can be so mysterious sometimes Kate"._

"_I prefer enigmatic. 'Night"._

With that she ran up the steps to the hotel door, disappearing into the revolving doors and out of sight.

Lee headed slowly back towards the flat, finding himself wandering through the alley that led to the river path, taking a long way home to give himself some thinking time.

As usual, the river path was busy. He passed a couple on an evening stroll, hand in hand, a Lycra-clad man jogging, looking straight ahead then down at his smart watch, seemingly oblivious of his surroundings, a photographer with camera on tripod taking pictures of the beautifully illuminated city scape, a group of drunk teenagers who seemed to think throwing empty lager bottles into the Thames was the most entertaining thing anyone had ever done. They all seemed to have not a care in the world and right now Lee envied them.

His head was swimming with thoughts. What would Lucy think if she found out he'd kissed Kate, if she knew for a brief moment he'd kissed her back? Perhaps she wouldn't care. He was still reeling from Kate's words earlier too - 'it's her isn't it?'. Of course it was her, it was all about her. Did Lucy know that? Was it time to tell her? How would he tell her? What if he couldn't, or if he did and she rejected him? How would he cope if his heart got broken? Seeing as he couldn't imagine having sex with anyone apart from Lucy, if she turned him down would he ever have sex again? Then again, if he never dared to tell her how he felt presumably his self imposed celibacy would continue indefinitely anyway. Maybe he just needed to take a risk for a change, grow a pair. But then, what would happen if he and Lucy got together? What if he disappointed her? What if he wasn't good in bed anymore, what if he'd forgotten how to be? What if he ruined everything, let her down, proved he wasn't good enough for her? He thought about Kate's advice, about how he had to do everything he could to achieve his goals in life. Being with Lucy was his goal, spending the rest of his life with her, making her as happy as she made him. God, why had he even been tempted by Kate when he loved Lucy so much? Was it a good idea to go and see Kate again tomorrow? Maybe it would be better if he didn't go. Who was this mystery person she wanted him to meet? This was all so confusing and stressful.

"_Look where you're bloody going you fuckin' idiot!"_

Lee was shaken out of his thoughts then, as the man he'd just walked into shouted.

"_Sorry, mate"._

_"You fuckin' would have been sorry if you made me drop my can of lager. You'd have been in the fuckin' river by now"._

Lee ignored the response and walked on, picking up his pace, looking back a couple of times to check the angry man wasn't following him. Walking around London in a daydream was not a good idea, too many obstacles...


	3. Chapter 3

Lee opened the door of the flat and was relieved that he couldn't see Lucy. He didn't want to have to answer any questions about tonight, he felt so guilty about kissing Kate that he didn't want to face her. Assuming Lucy was in the kitchen or her bedroom, he decided if he was quiet enough he could go straight to bed without disturbing her.

"_Cuppa?"_

Lee jumped as Lucy seemed to appear out of nowhere. He could forget that plan then.

"_Where did you spring from?"_

_"The bathroom. I've just had a bath, hence the bathrobe. You should try it some time"._

_"What, wearing your bathrobe? I don't think it would fit me"._

Lucy rolled her eyes.

"_Why were you tiptoeing? You normally crash around making as much noise as possible when you come in after a night out"._

_"When was the last time I did that? Maybe I'm more thoughtful than I used to be. People change"._

_"Hmmm. How was your evening?"_

Lee had no choice other than to follow Lucy into the kitchen.

"_Alright. Food was nice"._

_"And the company?"_

_"Kate was...she was Kate, hasn't really changed to be honest"._

Lee sat at the breakfast bar, watching Lucy as she filled the kettle with water and switched it on. As she reached up to take their mugs from the shelf it became obvious she was wearing nothing underneath her bathrobe, and Lee looked away quickly. He felt his cheeks flush as he stared at the floor, unable to stop his mind wandering to that night a few months ago when he Lucy had almost had sex because she wanted a baby and he'd agreed to father it. She'd worn that same bathrobe then, letting it fall to the floor to reveal her naked body to him. She had the most beautiful body. Stop it Lee, he thought to himself, think about something else, something unsexy. An unwanted erection was the last thing he needed right now.

"_So, did you get answers about why she left?"_

Lucy sat on the stool next to him, waiting for the kettle to boil.

"_Yes"._

_"And?"_

_"She had good reasons, personal reasons. I don't think it's fair I start telling people her business"._

Lucy felt a bit hurt that Lee seemed unwilling to talk about his evening.

"_How very gentlemanly of you. As long as you got your explanation I suppose"._

_"So...erm...she didn't invite you back to her hotel then? No offer of a night of passion to resolve your unfinished business?"_

Lee shifted awkwardly on the stool.

"_I'm here aren't I? That's all you need to know"._

Lucy started to get suspicious then.

"_I see, a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell right?"_

Oh God, Lee thought. She can tell I kissed Kate, I've been found out. He was sure he'd been careful to wipe the traces of her lipstick off his mouth.

"_I never said anything about kissing. There's no unfinished business"._

_"If she'd asked you back, you would have gone?"_

_"No"._

_"When have you ever turned down an offer of sex?"_

_"I have actually._

_"When?"_

_"More times than you realise, including the other month, when you wanted me to father your child"._

_"That was different. Name another time"._

_"Alright then, no point in lying...tonight"._

"_Ah...so she did try to seduce you? I knew she would, she seems like the type"._

_"She's not. Unless you mean the type that fancies me. I know it might be hard to believe but they do exist. Some women actually find me attractive"._

_"I believe it"._

Lee looked at Lucy, trying to read her expression. Their eyes locked, the atmosphere around them now thick with tension.

"_So...why did you turn her down?"._

_"Because I don't want have sex with Kate. I don't feel that way about her anymore"._

Lucy felt her whole body relax, the level of relief she felt taking her by surprise.

"_Will you be seeing her again before she goes back home?"_

_"She's asked me to meet her again tomorrow actually"._

_"To try and seduce you again?"_

_"No, she gets it, that I'm not interested. There's someone she wants me to meet apparently"._

_"Who?"_

_"I've no idea, she wouldn't tell me"._

"_Strange"._

_"I know"._

_"All will be revealed tomorrow I suppose. So, what she she up to these days? Apart from trying to get you into bed. Is she still into all that self help and self improvement stuff?"_

_"She is. She proffered several pieces of her wisdom"._

_"Go on then, what are her suggestions for you improving yourself? To stop using humour and other tactics to avoid confronting your emotions and get out of meaningful conversations?"_

_"No"._

"_Oh, so was it something more achievable then like learning how to close the toilet seat lid after you've used it?"_

_"She actually said I should have more confidence in myself, she reckons despite appearances I've got low esteem"._

_"You know what, I may not be that woman's biggest fan but she's right. You're always putting yourself down, and you shouldn't"._

_"I know, I don't really need to, I've got you for that"._

_"I don't put you down. Well, if I do you know I only do it with l...affection. You've got a lot more to offer than you think"._

"_Thanks_", Lee said quietly.

The fact that Lucy had almost said 'I only do it with love' hadn't gone unnoticed by Lee, and he dared not look up from staring at the kitchen table. He so desperately wanted to open up to Lucy now, especially as it seemed like she might be receptive.

Something was stopping him though, as it always did at these moments, these moments of almost spilling his heart out to Lucy that were happening more and more often these days.

His anxiety was stopping him, and fear that the now ridiculous level of sexual tension in the room might cause him to spontaneously combust at any moment. His fight or flight response was kicking in, and it was telling him to get out of this conversation. He had to escape to bed, to sleep on it, think about the words he would use to finally tell Lucy he loved her. If he tried to say something now it would only come out as garbled nonsense.

He faked a yawn.

"_Tired?"_

Even though she went along with it Lucy wasn't fooled by his badly acted yawn. She knew he just didn't want to continue this conversation.

"_Yeah, I think I'll take my cup of tea to bed if you don't mind"._

_"Okay"_, Lucy sighed.

There it was again, the all too familiar frustration that just at the point where their conversation had seemed to be heading in the direction Lucy wanted, Lee had cut it short. For a few hopeful moments she had thought tonight might be the night, the night Lee finally opened up to her about his feelings. The night she would finally be able to tell him her own. But once again it was not meant to be. Maybe it was never meant to be


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning...

Lee surfaced from his bedroom at 10.30am, just as Lucy was putting her coat on.

"_Morning. Are you off out?"_

_"Yep, I'm meeting Daisy in Covent Garden. She's missing Tim so I arranged a girly brunch followed by some retail therapy_".

The retail therapy wasn't just for Daisy. Lucy needed it too, as she was still a bit upset after last night. The frustration, the wanting and the waiting was becoming too much. To be so close to Lee but not have him in the way she really wanted was getting harder and harder by the day. Something had to change soon.

"_Oh right, don't forget I'm seeing Kate later. I suppose I'll see you this evening then"._

_"Okay, see you later"._

As much as he liked to spend as much time with Lucy as possible, Lee felt relieved that he wouldn't find himself trapped in any dangerously meaningful conversations with her this morning. Though he knew he had to tell her how he felt about her at some point, that the scariest of conversations was now all but inevitable, he was quite happy to put that conversation off for at least a few hours longer.

...

In a Covent Garden cafe...

"_This is the cafe I was talking about Daisy. My cousin recommended it to me"._

_"It's so pretty. So many flowers. How do they water the ones hanging from the ceiling though? That's what I don't get"._

_"I think they're fake, no water required"._

_"What are you going to eat Lucy? I think I might have Eggs Benedict and do the bottomless thing. Is it too early for Prosecco?"_

_"I might just have toast and mineral water. I don't fancy alcohol"._

_"What's up Lucy? You're quiet today, and you normally eat more than that. And no alcohol? Are you pregnant?"_

_"Of course I'm not pregnant. How could I be pregnant?"_

"_Erm, Lucy...when a man and a woman..."_

_"I know how to get pregnant. I'm not having sex Daisy"._

_"I thought maybe you and Lee had finally given in, or maybe you'd done the anonymous sperm donor thing after all"._

_"No, that's not...I'm not doing that now, I told you"._

_"So what is it then?"_

_"Did Tim ever tell you about his ex, Kate?"_

_"He has mentioned her, why?"_

_"After her and Tim split up she lived with Lee, and basically they ended up really close. I think Lee was in love with her, and she at the very least fancied him"._

_"Were they together? I feel like Tim would have mentioned that"._

"_Lee says they weren't. Before they had the chance she suddenly moved back to America and didn't contact him again"._

_"What about her anyway?"_

_"She turned up yesterday, to see Lee"._

_"Oh. I see"._

_"They went out for dinner. She still fancies him apparently and invited him to go back to her hotel"._

_"Oh no, they had sex?"_

_"No, he turned her down"._

"_Of course he did. I mean he would hardly sleep with Kate when he loves...anyway. It's bothering you right, that's she here? I assume the reason is because you love Lee and you don't want anyone else to have him?"_

Wow, Lucy realised that she'd done Daisy a disservice when she'd written her off as completely clueless. She may have been about some things but she had got this exactly right.

"_I didn't say that"._

_"You didn't need to say it"._

_"Daisy, you said of course Lee wouldn't have sex with Kate because he loves...he loves who?"_

_"Don't tell me you don't know. He loves you Lucy. Any idiot can see that. He may as well have I love Lucy tattooed on his forehead"._

_"Why won't he tell me then? I've given him so many opportunities and he always backs away"._

_"Maybe he needs you to tell him first, just because he's a man doesn't mean he should have to make the first move. I made the first move with Tim"._

"_I know, I just...believe me there's been so many times when I've been tempted to just grab him by the shirt and kiss him, or drag him to my bedroom, but I just have to know that he feels the same first. I know he fancies me, I'm not completely blind, but I need more than that. I need this to be about more than just physical attraction. I don't think I can tell him how I feel about him until I'm sure he loves me too"_

_"But he's scared Lucy, and he's always been emotionally impressed remember"._

_"Repressed Daisy, not impressed"._

_"Have you ever thought that the reason Lee hasn't told you he loves you is because he needs to e sure too, that you love him?"._

_"Maybe, but I've dropped enough hints I've the years"._

_"Maybe he needs more than just hints. Or maybe your hints are too subtle"._

Lucy thought that begging Lee to father her child recently might have be hint enough. That her jealousy over Kate last night would have been obvious.

"_Perhaps. But maybe he just doesn't want the same things as me. Maybe he knows that being with me would mean commitment and responsibilities...children...and maybe he doesn't want those things"._

_"I think he does. You two are meant to be together, I know it"._

_"Do you really think so, you don't think we're too different?"_

_"Me and Tim are very different and we work. I know you two are meant to be"._

_"If we're meant to be together, how come we're not? We've shared a flat for years...and a slightly tipsy kiss under the mistletoe, that's all that's ever happened between us "_

_"Because you're both too scared to make the first move. Until one of you does you'll just stay stuck as you are now"._

_"In a just good friends stalemate"._

"_Yep. You'll never know if he wants the same thing as you unless you as ask him. Lee's not particularly...proactive. You might have to take the lead Lucy"._

_"I can't just tell him I want to marry him and have his babies though. And I can't just say 'do you love me Lee?' I mean, there's being too subtle and there's scaring someone off completely"._

_"True. Do you want me to say something to him? Lee already knows I know how he feels about you"._

_"Does he, has he told you?"._

_"He hasn't really denied it. Same thing"._

_"I don't want you to say anything, if it comes to that maybe you could but I think we need to get there ourselves. We're grown ups not teenagers. Well I am anyway. It's just finding the right way of telling him, or at least finding a hint that will work"_

"_If you can't tell him how you feel, why don't you show him"._

_"How do you mean? I can't just throw myself at him, no matter how much I want to"._

_"By complimenting him, turning the flirting up a notch, doing something nice like cooking him his favourite food"._

_"I'm not making him pot noodle sandwiches"._

_"Okay then his second favourite"._

_"Turkey dinosaurs with potato waffles?"._

_"Okay...forget the food. Why don't you ask him to do something with you"._

_"We do loads of things together"._

_"Specifically something romantic"._

"_Not a bad idea, though I'm not inviting him to go to see a French film with me again, that outing ended up with me being mugged"._

_"How about going to a ballet"._

_"That wouldn't be Lee's cup of tea"._

_"I know...you could go up on to the roof terrace to stargaze together, or go on one of those private boat cruises on the Thames. Whatever you decide to do the idea is you'll have such a nice time and the atmosphere will be so romantic that Lee will end up declaring his undying love for you and the rest will be history"._

_"Oh Daisy, I wish I had your optimism"._

Daisy made it all sound so simple, like the plot of a trope filled romcom. Sadly, real life was more complicated...


	5. Chapter 5

"Lee, hi! I thought you might have decided not to come. Sorry about coming on to you last night by the way, I think I had one too many cocktails".

"That's okay. You're only human, and it's not your fault I'm irresistible".

"Ego much?"

"I thought you said I needed to be more confident".

"Touché. Anyway, I'm a bit embarrassed about last night today. I think I may have come across as a bit desperate".

"Nah, just horny. It's fine, all forgotten".

"Thanks".

Lee looked around him, taking in the large, plush interior of the hotel reception.

"This hotel is bigger than it looks on the outside. It's like a tardis".

"What on earth's a tardis?"

"Time and Relative Dimensions in Space".

"What does that even mean?".

"It's a spaceship, from Doctor Who".

"Doctor what?"

"Not Doctor What, Doctor Who".

"I'm assuming Doctor Who is some sort of TV show, one of these weird British sci-fi things you like".

"It's not weird, it's one of the best programmes on telly".

"I'll take your word for it. Anyway, let's go to my room".

Lee felt the keen eyes of the two receptionists on him as he followed Kate towards the hotel corridor. He looked behind him and saw them sniggering and whispering to each other. It made him feel like he was up to no good, like he and Kate were conducting a clandestine affair while their respective spouses carried on with their lives in blissful ignorance. He was sure that was what the receptionists were thinking, after all why else would someone take a man up to their hotel room during the afternoon. Well, to meet a mystery person in this case, he thought.

They stepped into the lift.

"Did you see those receptionists sniggering at us. I reckon they think we're having an affair...which floor?".

"Four. Yeah, probably, let them think what they like".

"I don't want them to think that, what if I see them when I'm out somewhere?"

When I'm with Lucy, he thought.

"They won't remember you, they see hundreds of poeple every day".

"They're probably sniggering because they're wondering what someone like you is doing with someone like me. He's punching, that's what they're thinking. Oh my God, they probably don't think we're having an affair, they probably think I'm a sleazy business man and I'm one of your paying...clients".

"Jeez thanks".

The lift came to a halt and the doors opened. Once again Kate led the way.

"I'm not saying you look like a hooker, well... not one of the ones that walks the streets, maybe one of those high class prostitutes that don't look like...oh God please stop me before the hole I'm digging gets any bigger and I fall in".

"Don't worry, I doubt they think you're a business man, not in those clothes. They're probably wondering how you can afford me".

"I deserved that I suppose, though personally I don't see what's wrong with wearing a t-shirt and cargos".

"There isn't, but business men usually wear suits, not t-shirts that say 'stand up if you love darts'".

"Here we are", Kate announced as they reached room 403. She took the keycard from her pocket and opened the door.

"I don't see anyone in here", Lee said, confused, as he scanned the room. He started to worry that Kate had made up the whole there's someone I want you to meet thing up as a ruse to get him to her hotel room.

"He's not not here yet, my sister's dropping him off in a minute".

"I'm confused, I thought you didn't have a boyfriend".

"I don't".

"So who's this man that's so special you want me to meet him...brother...brother in law? Is he famous or something? You said your sister's husband is a Hugh Grant type, is your sister actually married to Hugh Grant?"".

"No, he's not a man".

"What?"

"I have a son, Lee. I want you to meet my son".

"What?"

"I have a son...a child who is a boy".

"Wow, okay. I didn't expect that. I'm shocked, I mean maybe I should've guessed but..."

"I know, I don't seem like the maternal type right?"

"It's just when you said you were single, I assumed...where was he last night?"

"Staying at my sister's spending some quality time with his cousins before we head home. He's going to miss them loads. Do you want a drink Lee, tea coffee, something from the mini bar?"

"Erm, just a coke or something if there is one".

"One coke, coming up".

"So, I suppose I should say congratulations. Tell me about him"

"He's called Hunter"

"Unusual name, especially for the son of a vegan".

"It was my dad's middle name".

"Does Hunter have a father?"

"Obviously"

"I mean, on the scene?"

"No. Hunter's father doesn't know about his son".

"How come? Do you not know who the father is, or..."

"Stop right there sunshine. I know who the father is, he doesn't know because I didn't tell him".

"Oh, was it one of those sperm donor things because I know all about that now".

"How come? Have you finally turned your hobby into paid work? You didn't mention that last night".

"No, someone I know nearly went down that route that's all".

"Hunter wasn't conceived via a sperm donor. I just wasn't with the father when I found out I was pregnant. And for practical and other reasons I thought it was best I didn't tell him, that I should bring Hunter up on my own".

"He wasn't a boyfriend then?"

"No, someone I was close to".

"I'd say more than close but, anyway, how old is he? Baby? Toddler?"

"He's five".

"Five?"

"Yep"

"So, you had him not long after you left England?"

"Not long no".

"About nine months after?"

"Yes, something like that, give or take a few weeks...Lee?"

"Oh God, I don't think I'm ready to hear...I have to go, I'm sorry".

Kate had barely had time to realise where Lee's mind was going before he had leapt off the chair, bound across the room and slammed her hotel room door behind him.

She picked up her phone to call him but there was no answer, it just rang out.


	6. Chapter 6

Like yesterday evening, Lee couldn't face going home straight away after the revelation in the hotel room. Instead he set off in the opposite direction, wandering aimlessly through the streets until minutes became hours. He crossed Tower Bridge, passed through the little park next to City Hall, continuing along the Thames path until he reached one of his favourite old pubs in Southwark. He went inside, ordering himself a pint and drinking it as slowly as possible. He left the pub when it started to fill up with people, tourists and shoppers wishing to refuel on their way back to their homes and hotels. He wasn't in the mood to be crammed in to a small space with so many other people.

He wandered around Southwark for a while, through Borough Market and past the Globe theatre to the Millennium Bridge. He walked over the slightly wobbly structure towards St Paul's Cathedral, sitting down on the steps in front of it, glad to rest his feet again. He couldn't believe he'd walked so far yet was hardly able to recollect the journey that brought him here.

I can't believe it, I'm a father...of a child I've never met, whose mother lives thousands of miles away. How could Kate keep this from me? This isn't how this was supposed to happen. I'm supposed to have children with Lucy, no one else. I'm supposed to be hands on, not an absent father like my dad. God, this has probably ruined any chance I had with Lucy. I can't keep this from her, and what about Tim...he won't want to know me if he finds out I had sex with his ex.

"_So, although the cathedral was damaged in the Blitz, it remained standing, becoming a symbol of hope, of the British people's indomitable spirit, their refusal to be crushed, of survival against the odds"._

Lee realised he was now in the middle of a sightseeing tour. He turned to look up at the huge building behind him and felt suddenly insignificant. Hearing the tour guide talk about the Blitz, about the spirit and bravery of the people of London, made him feel ashamed of walking out on Kate earlier and his lack of courage when it came to Lucy.

During the war people lived their lives not knowing whether they'd be killed be in the next bombing raid. Whatever happened when Lucy found out about all of this, at least he'd still be alive at end of it. Having said that, Tim might kill him when he found out he'd slept with Kate. He still wasn't sure how he was going to tell Lucy though. He knew how much she wanted a baby and telling her this would be like rubbing salt into the wound.

He decided he had to head back, speak to Lucy, then call Kate to apologise. He had no idea what the future held now, but he'd have to face it.

...

Lee entered the flat, feeling sick to the stomach. He'd grabbed a snack on his way home, a cheese toastie, forcing himself to eat it as the miles of walking had started to make him feel light headed with hunger. He regretted it straight away, his stomach now churning and the taste of bile rising up in his throat. Lucy switched off the TV and turned to look at him.

"_Thank God, finally. I was starting to get a bit worried about you. I've tried to call you about ten times. I was looking for the aubergines. I had to leave them out of the recipe in the end. It's not like you to not answer your phone, or at least phone me back when you see a missed call"._

Lucy had started to worry that Kate had got her claws in to Lee after all, despite his insistence yesterday that he wasn't interested in her.

"_Sorry, I went for a walk. It's good excercise you know, and cheaper than the gym"._

_"__Didn't you hear the phone?"._

_"__I must have had it on silent accidentally"._

_"__Right, anyway, I've left a portion of dinner for you. It's pastaless lasagne"._

_"__Not lasagne then?"_

_"__It's lasagne but with sliced courgette instead of pasta, it's supposed to be aubergine but as I say I couldn't find them"._

"_Sorry, I forgot to pick them up, they weren't on the list"._

_"__If you want it it's in the fridge, you can microwave it. Oh and there's some strawberries open. I had them with chocolate mousse, I left some for you"._

"_I'm not that hungry. I ate earlier. I might just head off to my room"._

_"__Is there something wrong Lee? You've been pacing up and down since you walked in, and you don't normally just stay in your room. Are you trying to avoid me?"_

_"__No"._

_"__Good, then sit down. You're making me feel tired watching you pace". _

Lee slumped gratefully onto the sofa, only now realising his leg muscles were complaining from the walking.

"_How was your brunch and shopping trip with a Daisy? Buy anything nice?"_

_"__Just a top and some makeup. Anyway, enough about my shopping, I wanna know about this mystery person Kate wanted you to meet?"_

_"__I didn't meet them"._

_"__Oh, did you not go and see her in the end then?"_

_"__I did, but I didn't stick around long enough to actually meet...the thing is...Kate has a child, a son"._

"_Oh, how old?"_

_"__That's the point, he's five"._

_"__And? What's significant about that?"_

_"__I assume he was conceived when she still lived in the UK"._

"_Right...why are you acting so strange? Why do you sound so nervous? Do you think she's Tim's? Am I an Auntie?"_

_"__Her and Tim had split up by then"._

_"__So what's the problem?"_

_"__The problem is...I think he might be mine". _

Lucy felt like she'd been punched in the stomach. Lee and Kate had slept together, why hadn't he told her this?

"_What? I didn't think you two ever did that, I thought you'd done the pretending you didn't have feelings for each other thing". _

Lucy knew that scenario all too well.

"_We did. But the night before she left, we had a few too many drinks and ended up..."_

_"__Between the sheets?"_

_"__Actually it was on the sofa...the first time anyway"._

Lucy jumped up from her seat. Suddenly the sofa felt like an enemy, like an accomplice in a crime. She looked upset, confused and disgusted all at once.

Lee immediately regretted his level of honesty. Perhaps sometimes it was better to hold back information.

"_The first time? How many times did you do it?"_

Lucy didn't know why she had even asked that question, she didn't really want to hear the answer.

"_Twice, maybe three times"._

_"__And you didn't use protection? Are you stupid?"_

_"__No, we did. But you hear about things don't you, condoms breaking and stuff"._

_"__I don't want to hear about your stuff and where it ended up, I don't want to hear anything else"._

Lee didn't know what to do now, as he saw Lucy's eyes welling up with tears. He watched helplessly as she turned and ran to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her. This was exactly what he had feared would happen.

He decided to go and talk to her, but on reaching her bedroom door discovered she'd locked it, shutting him out.

"_Luce"._

_"__Go away"._

_"__Lucy please"._

_"__Leave me alone"._

_"__I cleaned the sofa, if that's what your worried about. I don't understand why you're..."._

_"__Lee, just sod off will you...look..I'll talk to you later, I need to...wash my hair"._

Lucy felt so stupid for being unable to hide the fact she was upset about what Lee had just told her. She leant back against her bedroom door and took several deep breaths, trying to stop herself from crying. It didn't work, and she gave in, letting the floodgates open. As the tears flowed she sat down on her bed, hugging her knees to her chest.

Almost immediately she was angry with herself for turning into this sobbing mess, which only served to make her more upset. She didn't understand why she was reacting like this, why she feel betrayed. Lee hadn't done anything wrong, she hadn't even met him when he'd had sex with Kate. She had no right to be so upset, and certainly no right to punish him for it. That didn't mean it didn't hurt though, the thought of Lee with someone else. Of course she knew he'd had probably had sex with loads of women in the past, but this seemed different somehow. The others hadn't been here, in this flat. This flat was her and Lee's flat, their special place. And the other's weren't in his life anymore, whereas as of yesterday Kate was.

She was jealous of Kate, disconcertingly jealous. Kate knew Lee in a way she didn't, knew the hidden parts of him, been closer to him than she had ever got. And then there was the child, she felt terrible about resenting a child, but she wanted to be the one to give Lee children, and now Kate had that privilege.

Lucy made an effort to calm down, realising it wasn't even rational, the way she was feeling. That's what love did though right, made people think and act irrationally. Really not liking this green-eyed version of herself, Lucy decided she had to be sensible about this. This situation, it didn't change how she felt about Lee, or what she wanted for their future. She just hoped Lee wouldn't hold her overreaction against her.

She wiped away the last of her tears, got up and went into the en-suite, catching her reflection in the mirror. She sighed at the sight of her red eyes and blotchy, tear stained cheeks. God, I look a mess, she thought. She ran the cold tap, splashing the water over her face. Not wanting Lee to see her like this, she grabbed her make up bag from the shelf. Trusty miracle cover foundation, now was the time to come into your own...


	7. Chapter 7

Lee spent several minutes sitting on the sofa just staring at the closed door of Lucy's bedroom, wondering what she was doing in there. He couldn't hear the hot water, so clearly she wasn't actually washing her hair. He considered going to get a drinking glass and use it to listen at her door but thought better of it.

He was thinking about what he was going to say to Lucy when she eventually came out of her room, when his phone rang. He jumped, the sound startling him. It was Kate. He almost didn't answer it, then thought about what a coward he'd been to run out on her earlier. He had to be grown up about this.

"_Kate"._

_"Lee"._

_"Sorry about earlier, I..."_

_"You think he's yours don't you?"_

_"Err...yeah well I...you mean he isn't mine?"_

_"No, he isn't"._

Lee felt the weight of the world lifting from his shoulders.

"_Phew. Thank god"._

_"You could have tried to hide your joy a little bit"._

_"Sorry, it's just..you know"._

_"I know"._

_"If he's not mine whose is he then? He can't be Tim's right?"_

_"He's not Tim's. It was a guy who worked at my publishers. There was an party a few weeks after I started at the San Diego office. You know what office parties are like...oh no, you've never worked in an office have you? You can't get drunk and have sex with an ice cream cone can you?"_

_"Well you can try but they're not big enough, the ice cream's too cold, and wafers chafe"._

_"I may have just been a little bit sick in my mouth"._

_"I was joking. How can you be so sure Hunter isn't mine anyway? We did have sex, three times"._

_"Because we used protection. And I've worked out the dates"._

_"There might have been a defective condom, and what if you've done the Maths wrong?"._

_"There's also the fact that Hunter looks exactly like his father, and his father is from Nigeria"._

"_Oh, I see. You could have put that reason at the top of the list"._

_"If you'd stuck around long enough to meet him at the hotel, you'd have seen for yourself"._

_"You don't have to answer this but why didn't you tell him...the father? He might have wanted to play a part in his son's life"._

_"He's married, I didn't want to be a home wrecker. Speaking of which, why haven't you told her?"_

_"Told who what?"_

_"Lucy. That you love her?"_

Bloody hell, maybe Kate really was a mind reader.

"_How do you know I love her?"_

_"You're not denying it then?"_

_"I don't suppose there's any point. The truth is I've never told anyone before. I mean, my dad guessed, so did Daisy, and probably Tim, though I've never actually fully admitted it to any of them. I think even Toby knows and I've only known him a few months"._

_"That's because it's obvious. You confirmed it for me at the end of yesterday evening"._

_"When I turned you down?"_

_"Yeah, though I spotted the signs earlier. You mentioned Lucy loads, and when you talk about her you get this sort of whistful look in your eyes"._

_"Do I?"_

_"Yeah, big time. So, why haven't you told her?"_

_"It's complicated"._

_"Seems fairly simple to me"._

_"Okay then, because I'm scared"._

_"Scared of what?"_

_"Scared of what might happen. There's a possibility I'll end up rejected, heartbroken and not to mention homeless"._

_"And if you don't, if telling her pays off?"_

"_That thought's scary too, because it means..."_

_"A proper relationship, commitment, responsibilities, having to grow up?"_

_"Yep, that. But it's also...letting my guard down you know"._

_"I know, allowing yourself to be vulnerable, letting someone into your heart. You've put up walls, to protect yourself, we all do. To let those walls down, it's scary, but it's also rewarding"._

_"It's not even just that. It's not just me I don't want to get hurt, it's her. I don't deserve her, she's too good for me"._

_"There it is, that low self esteem of yours again. You are a good person Lee, sweet, handsome, kind and an excellent lover. Lucy would be lucky to have you. You're good friends already, she would't be your friend if she didn't like you. To be friends first, to like each other, that's such a good foundation for everything else. Be confident Lee, remember what I said yesterday"._

_"That's nice of you to say, but I still think I have to be a better person, for her. Don't get me wrong, if means I can be with her I'll not hesitate at working my hardest be the person she deserves. It's just, change is scary. Anyway, this is a pointless conversation because I don't think she's interested in a relationship with me"._

_"Oh, she is"._

_"You can't know that, you only spent a few minutes with her"._

_"Lee, are you blind? She's clearly head over heals for you. It was written all over her face when I saw her"._

Perhaps Kate was right. Perhaps he knew this deep down too, but was pretending he didn't because this seemed a less scary option than having to voice his feelings.

"_You really think so?"_

_"I think she's waiting for you to tell her, so just do it. She might not wait forever. Remember what I said, you are in control of your own happiness. Make it happen Lee, you know what you need to do"._

Something hit home then. She might not wait forever. What if Kate was right? He couldn't risk losing Lucy. To hear Kate say she was sure Lucy loved him gave him hope. Kate was really good at reading people after all, presumably a skill she'd picked up from all the therapists she'd spent time with. This was it, the confidence boost he needed. He could do this, he was going to do this. Even if Lucy stayed locked in her bedroom, he'd just talk to her through the door.

"_Okay, wish me luck"._

_"You don't need it"._

_"Wish me courage then"._

_"You'll be fine. Just think...by this time tomorrow your life might have changed forever for the better, you might finally be completely happy"._

_"I hope so"._

_"Look, if you want to meet up again before I go back to California, call me. I really would like you to meet Hunter, I think you'd get on. But don't even bother pick up that phone if you don't have good news for me about you and Lucy"._

_'Just one thing, why...given our past why are so so keen for me and Lucy to get together?"_

_"Because I recognise love when I see it. I'm kinda sad that we were never meant to be, but I care about you Lee, and I just want you to be happy"._

_"Thanks Kate...that means a lot to me"._

_"Until next time then?"_

_"Yeah, bye"._


	8. Chapter 8

Lee sat for a good while mulling over the conversation he'd just had with Kate. He repeated her words in his head like a mantra, 'you know you what you need to do Lee, make it happen'. It was thinking of the right words though, just knowing where to start.

Deciding he couldn't wait any longer, he approached Lucy's bedroom once more, his feelings a mixture of trepidation and determination. He knocked on the door.

"_Lucy come out please. I need to talk to you...Lucy? Luce?"._

There was silence, and he expected another rebuttal, but after a few seconds Lucy opened the door. Instead of coming out of her room she sat back down on her bed.

Her eyes were red, giving away that she'd been crying.

Lee stood awkwardly in the bedroom doorway, not wanting to assume she would be okay with him joining her.

"_It's okay, come in. You can sit here. Shoes off first though"._

She patted the duvet next to her.

Lee perched on the end of Lucy's bed and removed his shoes. He shuffled backwards towards the head of the bed where Lucy was sitting. He broke the silence,

"_Luce, are you wearing different make up to earlier?"_

_"I...I've just being trying out the new stuff I bought today"._

_"You mean the new make-up that's still in its packaging on your bedside table?"_

_"Okay Poirot, I'm wearing different makeup because I didn't want you to know I'd been crying"._

_"Lucy, I could see you were upset when you ran off. Why are you so upset?"_

_"I don't know, I'm not...well I am but..."_

_"So...it turns out I jumped to conclusions, I put two and two together and made five"._

_"I bet you wish you'd listened in class now. Maths comes in handy sometimes..."_

_"He's not my son"._

_"He's not?"_

Lucy could not have felt more relieved.

"_No, I've just spoken to Kate, the father is some married guy she slept with not long after she moved back to California. I can't tell you how relieved I am Luce, I know that sounds heartless and it's not because I don't want kids it's just I don't want one like this"._

_"I get it, I completely get it. So, why did Kate leave England...because you had sex?"_

_"No, she was leaving anyway. I'm sorry Lucy, that I never told you the truth about me and her. Maybe I was a bit ashamed of it, her being Tim's ex and all"._

_"You didn't have to, what happened between you was your business. I didn't know you then"._

_"So, are you going to tell me why you were so upset, is it because you want a baby?"_

_"No...perhaps"._

Lucy wasn't quite ready to tell him the full truth, though she wondered if he had his suspicions.

"_So, are you going to keep in touch with her?"._

_"I don't know, maybe"._

_"You're not tempted to pick up where you left off, reignite the old flame? After all you were in love with her, I know how much you missed her when she went back to America, you used to talk about her all the time when I first moved in"._

_"Used to, that's the point. I don't have any feelings for her any more, not those kind of feelings anyway. I'm not sure now if it was ever really love. I don't think I knew what being in love felt like then"._

_"But you do now?"_

_"Yes"._

_"Tell me about it"._

_"Luce...I...the thing about Kate is, she represents a version of me that doesn't exist anymore"._

_"What version is that?"_

_"The one before I met you"._

_"How were you different?"_

_"I wasn't as happy then as I am now. I have a better life now"._

_"You think you're life's been better since you met me?"_

_"Only in every conceivable way. Kate said something important to me last night"._

_"What? Apart from will you have sex with me?"_

_"Yes, apart from that. She said if I'm going to be completely happy in life I have to identify my goals and do whatever I can to achieve them"._

"_She's right"._

_"I know but what if no matter what I do I can't achieve them, because they depend on someone else feeling the same as me and I don't have control over that?"._

_"What are your goals?"_

_"Well, there's just one really"._

_"What is it?"_

_"It's...god...I don't know how to say this. I'm useless at this"._

_"Just say it, whatever it is"._

Lucy inched closer to Lee, so close their legs were now touching. He felt his body react to the contact, a spark of electricity run through him.

"_I will, it's just that lack of confidence thing. I've got this voice in my head telling not to be so ridiculous, that being honest about my feelings is the worst thing I could do right now. That my goal is unrealistic"._

_"Would it help your confidence if you knew that someone you mentioned a few seconds ago did feel the same?"_

_"It would but I don't know, not for certain"._

_"I'm certain. Lee...I admit I was jealous of Kate last night when you went to that restaurant with her, and it upsets me that you once had sex with her even though I have no right to be because you hadn't even met me then. I know that doesn't make me seem like a rational person but..."_

_"I love you Lucy"._

Just like that, he blurted them out. The words that had always eluded him in the past, even when he was desperate to shout them from the rooftops.

Lucy sat open mouthed, clearly in shock. To have waited so long to hear those words, having wondered so many times if she'd ever hear them, she couldn't quite believe it now she had.

Unable to speak at that moment, she reached out for Lee's hand and he took it, allowing their fingers to entwine. He was trembling, so she squeezed his hand, wanting to reassure him she wasn't going anywhere any time soon. He needed this, not just to reassure him she was here to stay, but to confirm this wasn't just a dream. It was what she needed too, to keep her anchored, now she felt like she was floating on air. They instinctively turned to face each other.

Now Lee had said the hardest words, more came tumbling out of his mouth,

"_My goal...is to be with you. Not like we are now as friends...as your lover, your husband, the father of your children. I never thought I'd find anyone like you, who I'd fall for so hard, who would make me want all those things, but I did, and I feel so lucky. The thing is, most of all I want to make you happy, and I just hope you'll give me the chance to try. Will you marry me?"_

Lee exhaled audibly, his shoulders dropping as the tension left his body. He'd worked himself up to this for so long that the relief in finally saying how he felt was immense. Then he realised Lucy hadn't said anything in response yet, and he felt on edge again.


	9. Chapter 9

"_I'm hoping that given you're still holding my hand and you haven't slapped me yet or told me to get out that..."._

_"The answer is yes, a trillion times yes. I love you too, so so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you too, I want to make you happy too"._

Lucy was fighting back tears as she spoke.

"_Thank God, because meal times were going to be a bit awkward after this otherwise_".

Lucy smiled, reaching up to to touch Lee's cheek, running her fingertips over his jawline. She relished the feeling of his stubble against her skin, inhaled the intoxicating fragrance of his cologne. She felt the jolt as he shivered at her touch, heard his breath hitch. It was like he was invading all of her senses, and she welcomed it, wanting nothing more right now than to be lost in his arms, to melt into him. As she met Lee's gaze once more she saw his expression shift, his sparkling blue eyes seem to darken.

"_Just so you know, you might be someone who struggles to express their feelings, but that was honestly most perfect and romantic thing anyone has ever said to me...not the meal times bit obviously, the bit before"._

Lucy could hear her voice catching as she spoke, the way Lee was regarding her making her a little breathless. He looked adorable and oh so sexy, his expression a combination of desire and fear, of determination and vulnerability all at the same time.

"_You've no idea how long I've wanted to say it...I've always loved you...always wanted you",_ Lee uttered, his voice now little more than a whisper.

As he spoke, Lee gently swept a tear off Lucy's face with his thumb, then traced the path it had taken down her cheek. It was an action so simple yet so meaningful, so filled with love. The intimacy of the moment made her feel closer to Lee than she'd ever felt before, the tenderness of his touch and of his words sending her desire for him to new, dizzying heights.

"_Same_", Lucy breathed.

She watched, her heart fluttering, as Lee moved his gaze to her lips, then quickly glanced back up as though he didn't want to give anything away. His intentions were obvious though, and the anticipation was almost too much to bear.

Lee felt almost drunk with need, the temperature in the room seeming to have risen by several degrees in the last few moments, the atmosphere charged with electricity. He was so close to Lucy now, irresistibly close. He could hear her breathing, as unsteady as his, smell the heady honey-sweet notes of her perfume, feel the warmth of her body heat mixing with his own. He couldn't help but look down to her lips again, and he was sure they were trembling.

Lucy swallowed hard, her stomach tying itself in knots as the nerves and excitement built inside her. Lee traced his thumb over her top then bottom lip, slightly parting them, making her skin flush and prickle in response. Time seemed to slow down for them both then, as their uneven breaths filled the air.

Lee instinctively moistened his lips, Lucy studying him through now half lidded eyes as he did, her mind taking her back to their kiss at the end of the play last year, and how much she'd wished Lee hadn't held back that night, how much that tantalising taste of him had left her wanting more.

They leaned closer to one another until there was just the tiniest of gaps between them, until their lips were almost touching,

"_Luce...can I?_"

Lucy didn't give Lee the chance to finish his sentence, sounding almost desperate as she uttered just one word,

"_Please_".

Lucy allowed her eyes to close as Lee finally pressed his warm, soft lips to hers, framing her face with his hands. He was tentative at first, then emboldened by the way in which she responded eagerly, running her fingers through his hair, sighing contentedly against his mouth.

Lee felt his heart swell, lightning bolts of pleasure surging through his veins as Lucy pressed her body as close as she could to his, as she sought to deepen the kiss. Lee could sense her hunger, and it excited him, thrilled him. He'd played out this moment in his head so many times, yet this was more incredible and magical than he could ever have imagined. He could never have imagined the perfect sweetness of her lips as they moved with his, the wonderful sound of her soft sighs, the erotic power of her fingertips as they stroked the nape of his neck.

Lee caressed her cheeks, the sides of her face, and let his fingers slide through her hair. She jolted as he gently stroked her one of ears, feeling herself unravel as he teased the sensitive lobe. She felt all of her senses heighten, at the same as all of her thoughts were extinguished. All but those of Lee, and how she never wanted him to stop kissing her. It was novel, this whole new intimacy between them, yet it didn't feel even remotely strange or awkward. Kissing Lee, touching him, felt like the the most natural thing in the world. Natural, yet incredibly exhilarating.

She ran her tongue lightly over Lee's bottom lip, eliciting a deep groan from him as she briefly, experimentally swept it between his lips. He reciprocated, the blood rushing straight to his groin as their tongues met in a gentle dance. Lee took control of the kiss then, keeping it deep and slow, sensual, Lucy's little moans of pleasure spurring him on. There had been so many years of waiting, of longing for this moment, that they both wanted to savour it.

When they eventually parted, slowly opening their eyes, their shallow, panting breaths mingled as they nuzzled noses then pressed their foreheads together. Neither could speak for a few moments, though words weren't needed. It was obvious how much the kiss had meant to them both, and how much it had left them wanting more. They didn't break eye contact, and continued to cling on to each other, even as they found their voices again,

"_That was worth the wait",_ Lucy panted.

"_God, yes"_, Lee rasped in response.

"_I bet you never expected that would happen today when you woke up this morning did you?"_

_"No, I mean I hoped, every morning for as long as I can remember I've woken up hoping this would happen"._

_"You really are quite the romantic aren't you? You're full of wonderful surprises. I mean, I'd dared to hope that you'd tell me you loved me one day but I never expected you to propose to me in the very next breath"._

_"I've got to be honest I've even surprised myself tonight. It turns out this voicing my feelings thing is so much easier than I thought. And, even I wasn't expecting me to propose"._

_"You're not regretting that are you?_", Lucy's smile suddenly faded as she spoke.

"_Of course I'm not, best thing I've ever said. You're not regretting saying yes?"_

_"Lee, the only thing I'm regretting right now is that I'm not still kissing you. That kiss was...incredible"._

_"In that case..."_

Lee cradled Lucy's face in his hands as he closed the gap to kiss her again.

"_Wait...Lee...just one more thing...will you move in with me? Starting tonight...starting now"._

_"I already live with you"_

_"I mean, move in here, into my bedroom"._

_"I...I...yes..."._

Lee choked on his words. It was as though all the air had left the room now.

"_Good, because now that we're engaged I think it's only right and proper that we sleep together"._

_"Wh...when you say that do you mean actually sleep together or...you know?_

It was clear from the look in Lucy's eyes, seductive and full of promise, exactly what she meant.

Lucy gave Lee a gentle, featherlight kiss on the mouth before whispering in his ear,

"_Both. Though if I have my way you won't be getting much actual sleep tonight"._

_"Christ Luce...",_ he breathed.

"_You like that...me talking to you...telling you what I want?"_

She nuzzled Lee's neck, planting several soft kisses there. He made a sort of half moan, high sigh, her actions and words causing the blood to rush straight to his groin.

"_Y..yes, though talking isn't the first thing on my mind right now_", his voice trailed off into little more than a croak.

"_Tell me what is"._

_"You. Me. All the things I've fantasied about so many times"._

_"All the things you want to do to me? And what you want me to do to you?"_

Lee tried to steady his breathing, to calm his racing heart. It appeared that Lucy had a filthy side he never knew existed, and it was a huge turn on. His growing erection strained against his jeans.

He buried his face into her neck then, her purrs of pleasure resonating through him as he dragged his lips over her soft, warm skin.

Suddenly one of Lucy's hands was on his thigh, drawing patterns on the denim with her fingertips., her hand slowly creeping higher.

"_Yes...all...those...things. God, Luce...I want you so much...so much it hurts..."._

_"Want you too...every part of you"._

He slowly kissed his way back towards her mouth, a strained groan escaping from his lips as Lucy brushed her fingertips oh so lightly over the bulge in his jeans.

"_Is this because of me?",_ she whispered.

"_Uhuh_", Lee choked. He didn't think he could speak right now, surely Lucy wasn't expecting him to speak. He felt almost woozy, light headed. He was still trying to process the fact this was actually happening, but now things appeared to be moving quickly towards the point of no return.

Lee let out a shuddering sigh as Lucy moved her hand away from his crotch, running it over his t-shirt clad abdomen and chest as her other rested on his hip.

Pulling her towards him, half onto his lap, he claimed her mouth again, and there was no caution this time, no politeness or hesitation. Lee's lips were demanding, and Lucy responded with equal fervour, their kisses becoming increasingly feverish.

Their hands were all over each other now, clutching at clothes, slipping underneath, sliding over skin. After all the years of sexual tension, now their pent up feelings of love and lust had been unleashed they couldn't get enough of each other. Something primal seemed to have taken them over, every kiss and every touch only fuelling the fire that now raged inside them both, chipping away at their self-control.

Without warning Lucy pushed Lee back into the pillows that rested against the headboard, straddling him on her knees, launching herself at his lips once more. His heart thumped in his chest and he groaned against her mouth, deep and guttural, as she ground her hips towards his.

He splayed his fingers across the small of her back under her top, pulling her closer to him, if that was physically possible. She could feel his hardness through his jeans, and it excited her, her own arousal building by the second.

It was clear now that this was no longer just kissing, this was foreplay. Lucy felt a new rush of sensation, the most delicious pulsing between her legs, as Lee lightly caressed her side of her waist with one hand, the other gently squeezing her bottom. She found herself wondering if it was possible to climax from a kiss alone, having always dismissed the notion as a romance novel myth. Now, now she believed it was entirely possible. In her thirty five years on this earth, no one had ever kissed her like this before...


	10. Chapter 10

When the need for oxygen eventually forced them apart, they could only stay still for a few moments, their unsteady breaths permeating the air around them.

When Lee went to kiss her again, Lucy placed a finger on his lips, confusing him.

"_Wait_", she panted, peeling Lee's hands away from her, unlocking herself from his embrace. She removed herself from his lap, and stood up from the bed.

"_You want to stop?_", Lee asked, looking at her concerned.

"_No"._

_"__You want to slow down?"_

_"__No..."_

Lucy wanted the exact opposite. She wanted more.

She walked over to the bedroom window and drew the curtains closed. For a moment the room was only lit by a beam of moonlight through a gap in the curtains, until she switched on the light and adjusted the dimmer to a warm glow. Lee's heart started racing again as she sat on the bed beside him.

_"__I don't want to stop, or slow down...I want you to undress me. I want you to make love to me"._

Lee felt his breath leave him as he heard her words, as he stared at her, mesmerised by the sight of her flushed skin, of her swollen lips.

"_Do you want to?", _she whispered.

Lee watched as Lucy played with the top button of her blouse.

"_Of course I...I do...but...as much as I want to do that, believe me I want to do that more than anything I've ever wanted in my whole life...before we go any further, should I, you know...pop out to the chemist? I mean, I might have a condom in wallet but I think it'll be out of date by now. Plus, if you're planning on making a night of this one's not gonna be enough so..."_

_"__Don't worry, I've got a couple of boxes stashed away". _

_"__You've got a condom stash?"_

_"__Yeah, I bought them recently just in case. I thought I may as well be prepared for this moment...I was hoping it would happen some time soon"._

_"__You got them for me?"_

_"__For us"._

_"__Luce, you really are the most amazing woman I've ever met"._

_"__So...no more excuses..."._

_"__Can I just say...you being all demanding...it's beyond hot. I swear to God if this is a dream..."_

_"__It's not a dream, and I'm over here",_

Lucy beckoned Lee towards her, her seductive expression sending his head into a spin.

Lee shuffled closer to Lucy and knelt in front of her, positioning one of his legs between hers. She breathed heavily as he ran his fingertips up her arms, over the exposed parts of her shoulders and collarbone. She looked down at her blouse, slowly undoing the top button, in case Lee needed a hint. Taking her lead, he worked the next few undone, though each one seemed to take an age as his hands were trembling.

"_Are you okay Lee? Your hands are shaking"._

He paused, taking a breath.

"_I'm...nervous...to be honest I'm a bit scared"._

As much as Lee desperately wanted this, it had all just become very real, and his body seemed determined to betray him, unable as he was to hide the physical effects of his nerves.

"_Is this a button phobia thing? Coz I knew a girl at school who had that and she couldn't..."_

Lucy knew full well this wasn't about buttons.

"_I'm not scared of buttons, I'm scared about... doing this"._

_"__Why? I won't bite...unless you ask"._

_"__What if I'm you know... a bit rusty?"_

_"__Why are you made of metal under there?"_

Lucy realised she could be accused of using humour to deflect, but really she wanted to make Lee feel comfortable, and felt like making him laugh was best way to do that. It seemed to work, as he smiled.

"_Sorry, I'm supposed to be saying seductive things right now not telling you how scared I am. It's just...been a long time, and I want this to be perfect for you. It's a Mathematical fact you know, me having a sex life and me living with you are inversely proportional, I realised that yesterday"._

_"__Wow, who'd have thought, you talking Maths to me"._

_"__I'm sorry, talking Maths isn't very sexy is it? I don't think my brain's working properly right now"._

_"__You don't have to say sorry for saying how you feel, I'm pleased that you feel able to tell me. And it's okay that you're scared. I'm not going to lie, I am too, a little bit. But in a good way. These butterflies dancing in my stomach, they're just a reminder of how alive I feel right now...that's how you make me feel...alive. I know this is brand new territory for us, but I can't wait to get to know you in a whole new way. I can't wait to show you how much I love you". _

Lucy held Lee's hands in hers, feeling the shaking stop.

"_And me you"._

_"__This...what happens next...it doesn't have to be perfect either, I'm not even sure there is such a thing as perfect sex...but I do know it will be amazing. Every time you look at me I go weak at the knees, and as for kissing you, no one's ever made me feel that way. When you tell me how much you want me, that does things to me that I can't even describe...it makes me tingle in all the right places"._

Lucy pulled herself up onto her knees then, snaking her hands around Lee's waist as she kissed him softly and briefly on the lips. He was unable to conceal a small sigh of frustration as she pulled away, sitting back on her heels. Their eyes met again, and he regarded her intently, his pupils dilating, as she made light work of the rest of her blouse buttons.

Lee took over then, slipping Lucy's blouse off her shoulders and down her arms. She quickly freed herself from the sleeves and threw it onto the bedroom floor. Lee barely had time to look at her, or even take a breath before her hands were tugging impatiently at his t-shirt, pulling it over his head and flinging it aside.

Lucy eagerly pressed her body towards Lee's, her lips meeting his again in a series of shallow, urgent kisses. He growled as the lace of her bra grazed his nipples, the friction making every fibre of him hum with pleasure.

She melted into his embrace, her hands suddenly everywhere, roaming his now naked upper body. She'd seen him naked before, the time they'd got drunk on potato hooch, but the alcohol had made he forget most of what happened, and out of embarrassment she'd done her best to banish the few hazy images that had remained to the back of her mind. It was so very different now, now that he was hers, and she was determined to commit every part of him to her memory.

She ran her hands over his upper arms then his shoulders, broader and firmer than she had expected, her fingertips tracing his muscles, mapping every ridge and contour. He had strength, she could tell, and it excited her, the thought of him using those powerful arms to rip her clothes off, to pin her down and take her hard and fast. Not yet though. Right now she welcomed his gentle touch, his consideration, his almost shyness.

Without warning, Lee felt Lucy's hands leave him as she reached behind her and unclasped her bra, grabbing it from between them and unceremoniously discarding it onto the floor. The feeling of her warm, soft skin yielding against his sent shockwaves of pleasure straight to his cock. She sat back a bit, letting him look at her.

"_Wow...Luce...god...do you think it's possible for someone's heart to burst out of their chest? Coz mine's beating so hard right now it feels like it might",_ he rasped.

Lucy had never felt more wanted as she watched Lee regard her, his love and lust for her never more evident, his blue eyes darkened, burning into hers. His mouth remained slightly open in a combination of shock and awe.

She rested her hand on Lee's chest, delighting in the feeling of his smooth skin, feeling the rise and fall as he breathed heavily. For a moment Lucy thought she could hear Lee's heartbeat, then she realised it was her own heart pounding, in time with his.

"_Sorry about the lack of six pack and pecs...I really should spend more time in the gym"._

Lee felt a little self conscious about his body. Lucy was perfect and in his eyes he would never be that.

"_I think you're gorgeous as you are", _she reassured. It was true he'd filled out a bit in recent years, gained a few pounds maybe, but she preferred him now, now there was more of him to hold.

"_You make my heart race too, feel it_", she breathed.

He made a wheezing noise, his eyes widening as she covered his hand with hers and placed it to her heart. Lucy was unable to disguise her own gasp at the contact, and she knew she was blushing, feeling the prickling warmth rise in her cheeks as she observed his own flushed skin and sparkling eyes.

He whispered, "_You're so very beautiful Luce...so perfect"_, as he dared to stroke his little finger over her soft skin.

He looked into Lucy's eyes again, searching them. Understanding what he needed, she spoke,

"_You can touch me...I want you to touch me"_. Her voice sounded raspy and desperate.

Lee swallowed hard, just about maintaining his composure as he answered her plea, lightly caressing her breast with his fingertips. His touch was gentle, experimental, and she let out a quiet whimper, her eyes fluttering closed. It felt as though he had electricity in his fingertips, so supersenitised she was to his touch. Observing and spurred on by her reaction, he carefully traced his thumb around her nipple.

"_Does this feel good?",_ he asked.

"_Yes_...", Lucy responded breathily, chewing on her bottom lip then biting on her fingers in an attempt to to stop herself from yelling out. She was trembling now, as every one of her nerve endings seemed to be alight, every part of her body reacting to his touch.

"_What about this?",_ he whispered, moving his thumb moved it back and forth over the now hardened nub.

"_Y...yes...so good",_ she croaked.

"_I want to hear you Luce...let me hear you". _

She moved her hand away from her mouth, and when he paid the same attention to her other breast, adding a little more pressure, rolling and teasing her taut peak, she let out a loud and high pitched moan, without inhibition this time.

The sound resonated through him, testing his resolve. He needed relief, yet he knew he needed to wait for that. He had a feeling once he was inside her he wouldn't last long, and he wanted to savour her, to worship her. She deserved that, his own private goddess of love and sex and everything else that was good in the world.

Lee leaned in and pressed his mouth to hers, kissing her with a renewed urgency. He knew he wasn't dreaming now, his senses awakened like never before. Everything was more real, more tangible. The glorious sounds she was making, filling his ears, her loud and ragged breaths mingling with his. The intense warmth of her body heat, the feel of her silky skin, the intoxicating scent of of her, the taste of her lips and tongue. Everything about her was soft and warm and sweet. And heavenly.

Moving his skilled lips to her neck, he sought to discover the places she was the most sensitive, lingering there when she let him know, tasting her with his tongue, sucking gently. Her hands gripping him tightly, she drew him towards her, pulling him down onto the bed on top of her. He moaned gruffly, breathing heavily against her as he nudged her legs apart with his knee, settling in between. Lucy responded, lifting her hips to meet his, bracing her hands on his back. She could become addicted to this, she could tell. Addicted to his sensual masculine scent, all musk and citrus and spice, the feeling of him surrounding her, his hot breath warming her skin, his tantalising hardness pressing against her through their clothes, letting her know he was ready.

Lucy felt herself fall apart quickly as he trailed kisses over her collarbone, then to the curves of her breasts. She threaded her fingers into his hair, sighing with pleasure, writhing beneath him as he found a ticklish spot at the side, close to where her arm met her body. He cupped her soft globe in his hand, gently kneading it then taking her pebbled nipple into his mouth, gently sucking then flicking and circling his tongue. He was really, really good at this, it was as though there was a direct path from there to her sex, and Lucy felt her arousal pooling there. Her clit was begging for relief, the exquisite pulsing between her legs getting stronger, the prickling heat starting to spread outwards, tightness building in the base of her stomach and her chest.

She fumbled between them, unable to resist placing her hand between her legs, unabashedly touching herself through the fabric barrier. Pausing his ministrations, Lee looked down, all but coming undone when he saw what she was doing.

"_Do you want me to touch you...there?", he managed to ask despite his heart being in his throat._

_"__Y...yes"._

She removed her hand, grabbing his to replace it, almost embarrassed by the speed in which she did, feeling like a teenager again, experimenting with over the clothes groping. He proceeded to caress her, stroking and drawing circles with his fingers until gentle waves of pleasure began to wash over her.

"_Is this what you do, when you touch yourself?"_, Lee croaked, "_is this how you make yourself come?_".

Lucy swallowed hard, her eyes fluttering open once more. Hearing Lee talk like that, it was beyond erotic, and threatening to send her over the edge.

"_Uhuh...sometimes, though my hand would usually be inside my clothes. Sometimes...when I touch myself, I think about you...imagine my fingers are yours"._

Her voice trailed off, her panting breaths becoming whimpers as he coaxed then tapped his fingers, the friction he was creating feeling oh so good.

If yesterday someone had told Lucy she would be in this situation tonight, saying those words out loud, without inhibition, she wouldn't have believed them. Lee brought out this side of her, and she was more than willing to embrace it.

"_Oh...Christ...Luce...that's...hot...actually...what comes after hot?"._

If I'm not careful it'll be me in a minute, he thought. Imagining the scene, her pleasuring herself while she thought about him, it was too much. It was like she was determined to make him come there and then in his jeans.

"_Do you think about me, when you...do the same?"_

_"__Luce...I...every time..."._

_"__I heard you once, in your bedroom, groaning, calling out my name..."._

He wondered when that was, he usually wouldn't have been so careless if he knew she was home.

"_Did...that...bother you?"_

_"__No, I carried on listening...I wanted to come in and join you...it made me...". _Lucy paused.

_"__Made you what?"_

_"__Wet",_ Lucy felt her whole body flush as Lee eyes met hers at the very moment she breathed the word. She saw the smouldering, driving need in them, and it felt like all of the oxygen had drained from the room.

"_Lucy, oh God I..."_

She wasn't even touching him, and they were still half dressed, yet this was still better than any sex he'd ever had.

"_How does that make you feel? Knowing that's what you do to me? It's what you're doing to me right now..."_

Lee felt light-headed. He wanted to see what he was doing to her, to feel it.

"_It makes me want you even more, and I didn't think that was even possible. And I can't lie it's making these underpants and jeans very uncomfortable"._

_"__Well we can't have that can we?_", Lucy whispered.

Without hesitation she worked the button of Lee's jeans undone, then his belt buckle, swiftly pulling the length of leather out of its loops, the snapping sound making them both shiver. She drew down his zip, hearing him wheeze as she grazed his hardness with her fingertips. She teased her fingers over the waistband of his boxers.

"_Take them off...please"_, her words somewhere between an instruction and a request.

They separated temporally, allowing Lee to remove his jeans. He shoved them down his legs as quickly as possible, then tried to kick them off, huffing as one of his feet got caught in the denim.

He sat up and turned to look down at Lucy as he wrestled them away, hoping she wasn't watching the less than dignified display. It was only then that he realised she was concentrating on taking off her own trousers, she had her hips raised and was pushing them over her thighs.

"_You're..um...taking yours off too then?"_. He sounded more breathless than ever.

He couldn't take his eyes off her as she bent her knees to make the task easier, his gaze traversing every inch of her skin as it was revealed.

"_It's hardly fair if only one of us naked is it?"_

She could feel the intensity of him watching her, and it made her skin hum, as though his eyes were caressing her. Oh God, he had the most beautiful, vivid blue eyes.

"_No, it's..._", he gulped, "_pants as well?"_

She nodded and murmured in agreement, and they wasted no more time, hastily divesting themselves of their last items of clothing.

Lucy instinctively found her eyes drawn to Lee's middle, and they widened as she saw it, his hard cock standing proudly against his belly. He was impressively long and thick, bigger than any of her exes, and the thought of him filling her made her stomach flip over in anticipation.

She relaxed back onto the bed, head propped up slightly on her pillow. He turned to admire her, his cock twitching, his breath leaving him at the sight of her completely naked, waiting for him.

She was the most beautiful vision, feet resting flat on the bed and her knees bent, just slightly parted, giving him only a teasing glimpse of what was in between. One of her arms was stretched out leisurely above her head, her other remaining at her side. She was looking intently at him, the light in her eyes dancing.

"_Wow, Luce...so perfec_t", Lee whispered.

Lucy was feeling slightly nervous, but she was calmed by the sound of his voice, and the sight of him blushing in the most adorable way as he looked her up and down.

He settled at her side, placing a trembling hand on her knee, making her jolt at the contact. He brushed his fingertips over the sensitive skin behind it, her sudden gasp telling him that felt good. He watched her reactions, her eyelids fluttering and head lolling as he gently drew patterns over her thighs, wondering if she'd notice he was spelling out their names with his fingertips.

He moved his hand into the gap where her thighs met, nudging them open, revealing the flushed and glistening heart of her. He groaned deeply, the sound almost animalistic, causing her to shudder from somewhere deep inside.

Lucy could only do her best to keep breathing as she waited for him to continue. She felt so exposed, knowing that Lee could see the most private part of her, imagining what he was thinking, hoping he liked with he saw. Lee, who earlier tonight was still just her flatmate and her friend, was now her lover, seeing and touching her in a way no man had for a very long time, and it made her cheeks burn, her heart and mind race. Any feelings of shyness she felt were quickly extinguished though, overtaken by her desire.

Lee could smell her arousal now, and it made him want to lose control. He wondered what she tasted like, how loud he could make her scream with his tongue buried deep in those delicate folds. Maybe if he was lucky by this time tomorrow he'd know. There was plenty of time for that later, if Lucy let him. Right now though he just needed to be inside her.

As much as his body was screaming at him to, Lee thought better of rushing though. This time, their first time, he had to prove to Lucy that he wasn't selfish, show her that he cared about her pleasure as much as his own.

He caressed her inner thighs, hearing her breathing becoming more and more shallow as he inched towards her centre.

"_Can I...touch you?_", he croaked, and Lucy couldn't quite tell if it was a question or a plea.

"_Yes_", she panted.

She opened her eyes as she felt his hand leave her, craning her neck to see him suck two of his fingers into his mouth, wetting them. She held her breath.

Seconds later, as she felt him touch her between her legs at last, she hissed loudly, the feeling of his fingers tenderly stroking her somehow even more pleasurable than she expected, almost shockingly so. It had been a long time since anyone had touched her there, and she was more than ever acutely aware that it wasn't the same, doing this to herself. Even her trusty Rabbit wasn't a match for the caress of a real person, made of flesh and blood and driven by desire.

"_Mmmmmmmm...Lee"_, she hummed as he gently opened her outer lips, his dexterous fingers soft yet masterful as he caressed the even more sensitive flesh within, collecting and spreading her slickness around, exploring and playing with her. He responded to her cues, the way her body reacted, the sounds she was making.

"_May I?_", he whispered huskily as he teased her opening.

"_Mmmm..uhuh...y..es". _

Lee slid his middle finger inside her and experimentally moved it around, making Lucy whimper and arch off the bed, surprised by the intensity of feeling it caused her.

"_Okay?_", he asked.

"_Yes...god...yes...more_", she panted.

He continued, adding another finger, coaxing and scissoring them inside her, massaging her walls, sliding them in and out.

"_Ohhhh...right there...Lee, don't stop...hmmmm"_, she panted as he found and stroked that hidden spot of pleasure inside her. He grazed her clit with his thumb at the same time and she cried out, bucking her hips, unable to resist rocking against him.

How did he know, exactly where and how she needed to be touched? It was like he could read her mind, like she had some telepathic link to him, guiding his fingers.

She could feel herself climbing, feel the tension and the heat building up inside her, like a volcano waiting to erupt. She felt her insides become molten like lava as he continued his merciless assault of pleasure, stimulating her g-spot as well as her engorged and sensitive clit.

"_Is this okay, is this good?"_

It was pretty obvious it was, as she writhed helplessly beneath him, her high pitched mewling filling his ears. He wanted to hear her say it though.

"_More...than...good...feels wonderful...Lee...I want...I need..."_

As wonderful as this felt, she didn't need any more foreplay. She couldn't wait any longer.

"_Tell me what you want Luce, what do you need?"_

He thought he knew, but he had to be certain she was ready.

"_I need to come, I'm so close already"._

_"__Then let go..."_

She shook her head. She wanted to hold on, she wanted to wait until he was inside her, wanted him to feel it from the inside the first time he made her come.

"_Not until you're inside me. I need you... inside...me...now..."._

Lee took the deepest of breaths, it was all he could do to stop himself from exploding right now and this being over before it began. There was no doubt about it, hearing Lucy whisper those words was the most erotic experience of his life. He nodded, his heart pounding. His throat tight, he rasped,

"_Condoms?"_

_"__Beside cabinet your side, top drawer. Hurry up"._

Despite the fact everything had now become a little blurry, Lee found them at lightning speed, breaking into one of the boxes, grabbing one the packets and deftly ripping it open. Lucy watched as patiently as she could, the air held in her lungs as he rolled the condom onto his length, her heart pounding at the prospect of what was about to happen.

Moving on top of her once more, he eased her thighs further apart, positioning himself between them. He ran his tip over her sex, only just breaching her inner folds. Lucy whimpered and Lee paused, his rock hard cock poised at her entrance, torturously close to where she needed him to be. He looked deep into her eyes, searching them. He looked uncharacteristically serious, earnest. She could feel his vulnerability though, just a little bit of nervousness bubbling underneath the almost desperate need that his dilated pupils betrayed. She smiled at him, reaching one of her hands up to touch his blushing cheek.

"_Now?"_, he whispered.

She nodded, her eyes pleading with him.

In the very next second she felt it, the swollen head of his cock pushing inside her, stretching her open. She gasped, the sensation of pressure extremely intense, despite how wet she was. Her eyes clenched shut, heels digging into the mattress, fingertips squeezing into Lee's back. She heard him moan, a more high pitched sound than she'd heard him make before, and she opened her eyes again to look at him. She could see the concentration on his face, his furrowed brow, the flush on his cheeks, the shining perspiration on his forehead. He still only had the head of his cock inside her, and he hadn't moved yet, giving her time to adjust to his penetration. He needed it too, this moment to breathe, to hold onto the last little bit of self control he had left.

"_All the way, please_", Lucy breathed, needing more of him.

Lee took a sharp intake of breath then pushed forwards, exhaling shakily as he sank his throbbing cock deep into Lucy's tight yet yielding heat, burying himself to the hilt with one measured thrust.

They moaned in unison, both overwhelmed by the feeling of being joined at last.

Lee stilled, opening his eyes, finding Lucy's hand, threading his fingers through hers as they breathed heavily together, foreheads touching.

"_Are you okay?_", he asked, his concern for her at this moment making Lucy's heart melt.

"_Y...es...more than okay. Are you?"._

_"__Uhuh"._

Lucy didn't think she could ever get used to this, not that she wanted to. He felt beyond hard and impossibly huge inside her, filling her so completely and exquisitely. It was like he was part of her, where he belonged.

Lee felt it too, the sense of belonging like he'd never felt before. He'd never experienced intimacy like this before either, or this level of pleasure.

He kissed her tenderly, his trembling lips moving over hers. Trailing his lips away from her mouth, he nuzzled and kissed her neck, whispering in her ear.

"_Luce...bloody hell...you feel...incredible, so hot and wet and tight. I can't even explain...". _

Incredible seemed like inadequate a word. There were no words, no superlatives great enough to describe how this felt. Emotionally as well as physically it was mind-blowing. He was inside Lucy at last, the only woman he'd ever truly loved, his soulmate, as close to her as he could possibly be. Her body fitted his so perfectly, so slick and warm, gripping around him.

"_You feel incredible too, I feel so full. I need you to move, Lee...can you move?". _

Without the direct stimulation of her clit, the tide had ebbed for her slightly, but Lucy knew it wouldn't take Lee very long to bring her back to the edge, to send her over it and into freefall. She could feel the flames still licking over her skin, the liquid heat inside her.

He nodded, not taking his eyes off hers as he circled his hips gently, after a few moments pulling out almost completely. In the very next breath he buried himself inside her again, making her gasp and moan for him. He repeated the process, torturously slowly a first, gauging her reactions to every movement, feeling her body respond, listening to every noise he drew from her. She was making an almost continuous mewling sound now, arching her hips to meet his, and it was tapping at his control.

"_I love those sounds you're making Luce, so fucking hot"._

Lucy felt her insides knotting, her walls tightening around his cock, making him growl with pleasure. He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, concentrating on the sound of his breathing for a few seconds, clenching his pelvic floor muscles. He couldn't let himself come yet, not until Lucy was there too.

She slid her hand around his neck, playing with his hair at the nape of it, lifting her head to bring her lips to his throat, kissing the hollow there, flicking her tongue over his Adam's Apple. He groaned, and she felt the vibration against her mouth.

She ran her fingers down his back, tracing the contours of his spine, then his buttocks, squeezing them, urging him closer.

"_Christ, Luce...so good, so bloody good"._

_"__Keep talking...Lee. I love it when you talk to me"._

_"__You're exquisite Luce...every part of you, like silk, like warm honey". _

_"__Oh God...yes_", she breathed in response.

He gave a series of shallow thrusts, then one slow, deep stroke that made Lucy cry out, made her body tense around him. He pulled out then returned to her, a few more shallow strokes followed by two deep thrusts this time. He continued this rhythm but with more long, languid strokes each time, making sure every part of her felt the exquisite friction, that every nerve ending inside her was alight with pleasure. With every shallow thrust she craved him deeper, every time he pulled back her walls clamped around him, trying to keep him inside. The teasing technique had her climbing again, closer to climax with every thrust.

He continued to penetrate her deeply, picking up his pace, sensing she was near too.

"_I can't wait to watch you come Luce, to find out what you look like when you do. I can't wait to feel it, and to hear it. I wonder if you'll scream for me"._

_"__Ohhhh, more...please, I need more"._

Lucy moved beneath him, and he felt her feet slide over his thighs and bum, felt her body open up even more to him. She wrapped her legs around his middle, crossing her ankles where they rested just above his buttocks, her heels just pushing at his flesh. The shift in position pulled him further into her, and she squeezed her thighs together, keeping him there. She held him close, his name escaping from her lips several times, goading him.

Lee was being so loud now, panting, moaning, even making several squeaking noises that would have made Lucy giggle if she hadn't been so far gone herself. He growled throatily as he buried his face into her neck again, nibbling and sucking as she met every thrust.

"_I want to thrust harder, Luce...do you want that?"._

_"__Yes...and faster. I'm so close"._

He thrust once, twice, hard and deep, and she yelled out, her body convulsing around him, telling him she was close.

"_Like that?"_, he panted.

"_Ohhhh...yes...like...that_", Lucy murmured, her words trailing off into a soft purring sound.

He let go then, allowing something more primal take over him, and he sped up, his movements increasingly forceful and erratic, his moans mostly replaced by grunts, short guttural sounds that came from somewhere deep inside him.

His angle was perfect, ensuring that with each stroke he hit every spot of pleasure, and she within seconds she was close again.

"_Fuck...that feels good",_ Lee groaned, feeling Lucy's body writhe and tremble beneath him.

He began to play with her breasts again, caressing her with his hand then his mouth, and she squealed when he sucked one of her nipples into his it, teasing it between his lips.

They were one as their bodies slammed, slid and ground together, and it felt like nothing and no one else existed now. There was only each other, and the intense, spiralling pleasure as they drove each other to the edge.

"_I'm so close, Lee"._

Lee was relieved to hear those words, not sure how much longer he could last. Though part of him never wanted this to end, his body was screaming at him to finish.

"_How close?"_

_"__Seconds away close...oh...God..I'm going to..."_

He could feel her walls clenching around him, caressing his cock, and he quickly found himself at the point of no return. He felt his muscles tense up, and the familiar tickling feeling that told him he was about to explode.

"_Together?"_

_"__Uhuhmmm...oh...God...Lee...mmmm...yes...yes...I love you..."_, Lucy cried out as the powerful orgasm crashed through her. The sort of mind-blowing, room spinning, atomic explosion, earth spinning off its axis, whole body orgasm that was an almost spiritual experience.

She felt Lee's shaft pulse and jerk inside her, adding to the already overwhelming pleasure she was feeling. He made a glorious, satisfying sound, a shuddering half moan half growl through clenched teeth that was almost carnal, animalistic.

"_Fuck...Luce...ughnnnn...love you too...",_ his voice was strained and shaking as he surrendered to the inevitable. He allowed himself to come at last, the creeping, tightening sensation in his groin and thighs that had been the cause of his torture for some time finally giving way to the intense ecstasy of release.

Lucy imagined this was what an out of body experience was like, the almost floating sensation she felt as she rode the crest of the climax. Yet, somehow, at the same time she had never been more aware of being in her body, as she felt the waves surging and and rippling through her, every fibre and every cell humming with pleasure. She arched off the bed, tightening her grip on Lee's back, her other hand twisting into the bedding, clawing at it. Her toes curled, her skin flushed and prickled, the tiny hairs on her skin stood on end. Everything was heightened and vibrant and alive.

Through fluttering eyelids she observed Lee, his face contorted with pleasure, his eyes closed, skin slick with sweat. He was breathing as hard and fast as she was, clearly lost in sensation. He uttered her name several times, almost as if he was searching for her.

"_I'm here, stay with me Lee_", she whispered.

She continued to watch as his expression changed, his features relaxing, the furrows smoothing again, his eyes opening, meeting hers. They were wide, like he was in shock, unable to believe what had just happened.

Lee kissed her forehead tenderly, then moved his soft, tender lips over her cheeks before meeting her lips in a gentle, lingering kiss.

"_Christ, you're amazing"_, he panted as he pulled away, tenderly brushing the stray locks of hair from Lucy's face, tucking them behind her ear. His hands were trembling slightly.

"_So are you"_, she whispered, still swimming in those life affirming, ocean-like eyes of his, unable to look away.

"_I take it that was good for you too?"_

_"__Good? I'd go with...transcendent"_. Her eyes were alight as she spoke.

"_Really?"_

_"__Really"._

He smiled then, the satisfaction and elation he was feeling so clearly evident. She smiled back, more content than she had ever felt in her life. To know that she was the cause of that smile, that she could make him as happy as he made her, she couldn't have wanted anything more. Except to be able to never leave this bed, to stay here with Lee forever, in his arms.

As her body started to relax, she let her legs fall either side of him, her feet resting on the bed once more. She didn't move her arms though, keeping them wrapped around him. Spent, he let out a loud, deep sigh and collapsed onto her, burying his head into the crook of her neck.

She stroked his hair, almost as if she was comforting him, and he made a quiet, content humming sound. It was all over the place, the parts that had been sticking up all disheveled, the bits that had been flat tousled into small curls. She combed her fingers through the strands and played with the ends, unsure if her aim was to tidy it up or make it even more messy. She'd always loved his hair, especially when he styled it into spiky peaks at the front. He had a habit of playing with it too, and whenever he did it always melted her insides. Sometimes they'd be talking and he'd casually start running his fingers through it, distracting her from the conversation, and she'd wonder if he was doing it on purpose, if he knew the effect it had on her. In those moments she'd find herself twirling her own hair through her fingers without even thinking, and on realising what she was doing would quickly snap her hand away, aware that he might think she was blatantly flirting with him.

The pair lay like this, in the closest of embraces, for a several minutes, just basking in the afterglow. They continued to breathe heavily, in harmony with each other, though more steadily and slowly as time passed. The pulsing between Lucy's legs subsided but continued, surprising her every so often as though he body wanted to remind her of what just happened. Like she could ever forget. Everything that had happened tonight was already etched on her memory.

"_I wish you could stay inside me forever"_, she whispered.

"_Me too...but",_ Lee sighed, knowing he'd have to pull out soon, not wanting to risk the condom leaking.

"_Ohhh_", Lucy let out a quiet moan before he had the chance to finish his sentence.

"_Luce?_"

"_Aftershock_".

"_What does that feel like?"_

_"__Like just when I think I'm coming down, there's a tightening and release again...inside, just not as intense as before. Still feels wonderful though. Best thing is, I never know when they're cominnnngggg"._

_"__I felt that one. Was that stronger?"_

_"__Yeah...mmmm"._

"_Luce?"_

_"__Yeah?"_, she replied softly

"_I wish I didn't have to...but I think I'd better...move"._

She nodded, not that he could see her. She understood why, having felt him soften inside her. There was no point in practicing safe sex if you let the condom leak afterwards. As much as she wanted a baby she didn't really want to get pregnant by accident now, she'd rather they got married first.

He gently pulled out of Lucy, climbed off her and removed the condom.

"_I'll just go and...get rid of this",_ he whispered, kissing her briefly before getting up from the bed and walking towards the bathroom to find the bin. For the first time tonight he felt slightly awkward, knowing she was watching him.

"_Lee, Wait"._

He turned around, his breath catching in his throat again as he took in the sight of her lying there, having never looked more beautiful.

"_What?"_

_"__You have a gorgeous bum, just thought I'd let you know"._

_"__Do I?"_

_"__Oh yeah, impressively pert"._

_"__Thanks. I bet yours is beautiful, I haven't actually seen it yet"._

Lucy blushed.

"_If you play your cards right I'll show you later"._

_"__I'm gonna hold you to that. I'll be right back"_

_..._


End file.
